SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 12/10/94


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

December 10th, 1994

Alec Baldwin

Beastie Boys

Christian Slater

Beastie Boys, “Sure Shot”

  • A Statement By Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

    Dr. Joycelyn Elders (Ellen Cleghorne) delivers pro-masturbation speech.

  • Alec Baldwin’s Monologue

    Baldwin and Canteen Boy (Adam Sandler) promote awareness.

    Recurring Characters: Canteen Boy.

  • Lexon Paradox

    (Repeat) See: 10/01/94.

  • Santa Believers

    Cop (Kevin Nealon) tries to explain to suburban family that Santa Claus isn’t real.

  • L.A. Breast & Penis

    Plastic surgeons (Baldwin, Chris Elliot, Janene Garafalo) save train wreck victims.

  • Japanese Game Show

    Larry Templeton (Chris Farley) is an unexpected and confused contestant.

  • Beastie Boys perform “Sure Shot”

  • Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

  • Rookie Cop

    Mangled body of gunshot victim causes a cavalcade of vomit in New York.

  • The Young & The Youthful

    Wealthy Pierce (Baldwin) vs. mentally-challenged brother Petey (Baldwin).

  • Family Road Trip

    Parents (Michael McKean, Janene Garafalo) battle kids during car ride.

  • Beastie Boys perform “Ricky’s Theme” & “Heart Attack Man”

  • The Exotic Dancer

    Bride-to-be (Janene Garafalo) is scarred by unsexy exotic dancer (Chris Elliot).

  • Celebrity Memorial Auction

    Auctioneers (Baldwin, Chris Elliot) have stolen celebrity items on the block.

  • Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

    What makes a jellyfish beautiful.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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