SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 12/10/94

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

December 10th, 1994

Alec Baldwin

Beastie Boys

Christian Slater

Beastie Boys, “Sure Shot”

  • A Statement By Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

    Dr. Joycelyn Elders (Ellen Cleghorne) delivers pro-masturbation speech.

  • Alec Baldwin’s Monologue

    Baldwin and Canteen Boy (Adam Sandler) promote awareness.

    Recurring Characters: Canteen Boy.

  • Lexon Paradox

    (Repeat) See: 10/01/94.

  • Santa Believers

    Cop (Kevin Nealon) tries to explain to suburban family that Santa Claus isn’t real.

  • L.A. Breast & Penis

    Plastic surgeons (Baldwin, Chris Elliot, Janene Garafalo) save train wreck victims.

  • Japanese Game Show

    Larry Templeton (Chris Farley) is an unexpected and confused contestant.

  • Beastie Boys perform “Sure Shot”

  • Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

  • Rookie Cop

    Mangled body of gunshot victim causes a cavalcade of vomit in New York.

  • The Young & The Youthful

    Wealthy Pierce (Baldwin) vs. mentally-challenged brother Petey (Baldwin).

  • Family Road Trip

    Parents (Michael McKean, Janene Garafalo) battle kids during car ride.

  • Beastie Boys perform “Ricky’s Theme” & “Heart Attack Man”

  • The Exotic Dancer

    Bride-to-be (Janene Garafalo) is scarred by unsexy exotic dancer (Chris Elliot).

  • Celebrity Memorial Auction

    Auctioneers (Baldwin, Chris Elliot) have stolen celebrity items on the block.

  • Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

    What makes a jellyfish beautiful.

  • Goodnights

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