Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 20: Episode 14
The Singer….Bruce McCulloch
[Opens with a man lying in bed in his underwear. Alarm clock sounds. The man turns it off and gets up from bed. A blue jacket hangs in the middle of the room. The man picks it up.] [Cut to the man dressed with the blue jacket in front of the mirror. He practices hand movements with confidence. Karaoke music fades in. This man is The Singer.] [Cut to the Singer up on stage in a Karaoke nightclub singing Irene Cara’s hit “Fame”. A single teardrop falls from his eye.]
The Singer: [singing badly but with confidence and passion] Fame! I’m gonna live forever, I’m gonna learn how to fly, high! I feel it coming together, people will see me and die! Fame! I’m gonna make it to heaven…
An intense man smokes a cigarette in awe of The Singer]
Intense man: The kid’s good.
The Singer: …light up the sky like a flame! Fame! I’m going to live forever! Baby, remember my name, remember, remember, remember!
Intense man: Used to be me.[The crowd applauds. The Singer comes off the stage and stands next to the Intense man smoking a cigarette]
Intense Man: Good song.
The Singer: Thank you.
Intense Man: You’re gonna stick around? You might win the prize.
The Singer: No. I’m not in it for the glory.[Cut to a later performance of The Singer singing Irene Cara’s “Fame” again]
The Singer:[singing badly but with passion] Don’t you know who am I? Fame! I’m gonna live forever….
The Singer:[sings] I’m gonna learn how to fly! High! I feel it coming together…[Cut to a bored bartender. She stirs a celery into a Bloody Mary. The Singer sits at the bar with her]
The Singer: Hi.
Bartender: You’re on deck.
The Singer: Good.[Irene Cara’s “Fame” plays. The Singer is disturbed.]
The Singer:[whispers] That’s my song.
Black Woman:[sings] Baby look at me, and tell me what you see…..
Bartender: So, what song are you doing today?[The Singer thinks the names of songs. “Flashdance?” “Lady in Red?” “Ben?”]
The Singer: “Snowbird”.
Bartender: “Snowbird”, really?
The Singer: “Snowbird”
The Singer: [sings horribly] Beneath that snowy mantle, cold and snow…..clean.[Bartender grimaces]The unborn grass lies waiting for this cold to turn green.[Keeps singing horribly and out of beat with the song]If I could fly….I’d fly! [The crowd is silent]Take me back with you, for when it came that day….[The Singer looks down on the Karaoke machine with panic on his face]….untrue…..that he’ll only break my heart again should I decide to stay….the one I love forever is….[looks down at the Karaoke machine then at the crowd with panic and embarrassment.] [The crowd is silent] [The Singer makes a couple of awkward hand movements. Puts the mic down and walks off stage] [The Singer lies in bed in his underwear just like in the begginning.] [The Singer cries bitter tears]
The Singer: I’m no good.[cries] [The camera moves up from The Singer in bed and focuses on the back of the blue jacket. “Snowbird” plays faintly in the back. An image materializes in the back of the jacket. Its an image of a bird flying.] [fade] [Cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel