John Goodman’s Monologue


John Goodman’s Monologue

Mighty Mack…..John Goodman
Elwood Blues…..Dan Aykroyd


John Goodman: Thank you! It’s a treat to be back here at Studio 8H, hosting this show for the sixth time! The last time I was here, I became a member of the 5-Timer’s Club, and, let me tell you, life as a 5-Timer is.. good! You don’t have to learn any lines, you don’t even have to show up until Saturday! But tonight, I’ve become a 6-Time host, and am being upgraded into a club so exclusive, so elite, that I can basically do anything.. I.. want. And this is what I want to do. Put on this sacred uniform, and introduce a friend of mine, without whose sanction, this would not be possible! [ puts on dark shades and a hat, the Blues Brothers look ] Ladies and gentlemen – from City, Illinois.. Mr. Elwood Blues!

[ Elwood Blues walks out ]

1, 2, 3, 4!

Mighty Mack & Elwood Blues:
“Well now when I get the blues, gonna get me a rockin’ chair
Well now when I get the blues, gonna get me a rockin’ chair
When the blues overtake me, gonna rock right away from here

Now when I get lonesome I get on the telephone
Now when I get lonesome I get on the telephone
Well, I call my baby, tell her I’m on my way back home

Well, flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Don’t ever leave me, don’t ever say goodbye

Give me one last kiss; hold it a long, long time
Give me one last kiss; hold it a long, long time
Well, hold that kiss ’til I feel it in my head like wine

Well, here come my baby, flashin’ a new gold tooth
Well, here come my baby, flashin’ a new gold tooth
Well, she’s so small she can mambo in a pay phone booth

Well, flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Don’t ever leave me, don’t ever say goodbye

Lou Marini!

Well, like a Mississippi bullfrog sittin’ on a hollow stump
Well, like a Mississippi bullfrog sittin’ on a hollow stump
I got so many women I don’t know which way to jump

Well, flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Flip, flop & fly
I don’t care if I die
Don’t ever leave me, don’t ever say goodbye.”

John Goodman: We’ve got a great show! Dan Aykroyd is here! The Tragically Hip is here! So, stick around, we’ll be right back.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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