SNL Transcripts: Mariel Hemingway: 09/30/95

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 1


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September 30th, 1995

Mariel Hemingway

Blues Traveler

None

Beth McCarthy-Miller

Lorne Michaels

Steve Higgins

Adam McKay
O.J. TodaySummary: Bill McDonald (Will Ferrell) and the O.J. coverage gang segue to footage of Johnnie Cochran (Tim Meadows) dissuading use of the “evidence card” during the O.J. Simpson trial.

Recurring Characters: Bill McDonald, Johnnie Cochran, Robert Shapiro, F. Lee Bailey, Barry Scheck, Judge Lance Ito.

Transcript

MontageNote: Prince (during the time he changed his name to a symbol) was scheduled as musical guest, but he backed out at the last minute.

Mariel Hemingway’s MonologueSummary: Mariel Hemingway introduces viewers to the new cast of “Saturday Night Live”, focusing her attention on all the women and planting them with kisses.

Transcript

A.M. AleSummary: Why wait until the afternoon, when you start your morning off right.

Transcript

Get Off The Shed!Summary: Dad Frank Henderson (Will Ferrell) threatens kids during backyard barbecue.

Recurring Characters: Frank Henderson

Transcript

NightlineSummary: Colin Powell (Tim Meadows) gloats over Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) during “Nightline” interview with Ted Koppell (Darrell Hammond).

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Bob Dole.

Transcript

Leg Up!Summary: Elizabeth Berkeley (Hemingway) shocks hosts Ann Miller (Molly Shannon) and Debby Reynolds (Cheri Oteri) with a pole dance demonstration.

Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller.

Transcript

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Nancy Walls reads a handful of news stories that elicit sad head-shaking from herself and Norm MacDonald.

Blues Traveler performs “Run-Around”

The TelephoneSummary: A housewife (Mariel Hemingway) asks her husband (Will Ferrell) to help get her off the phone with talkative relatives, but his attempts border more on creepy and disturbing than helpful.

Transcript

Spade in AmericaSummary: David Spade makes snide comments about the Unabomber and no-show musical guest, Prince.

A&E BiographySummary: Host Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) offers the biography of Mariel Hemingway, who won her “Central Park West” role in favor of an acting quartet.

Recurring Characters: Jack Perkins.

Fuzzy Memories

Blues Traveler performs “Hook”

The Chicken Lady ShowSummary: The Chicken Lady (Mark McKinney) engage in discussion with other fetishists.

Goodnights

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