Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 2
95b: Chevy Chase / Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
Lobotol
Narrator…..Nancy Walls
Katie…..Cheri Oteri
Designer…..Cindy Caponera
Head Designer…..Will Ferrell
Designer/Announcer…..Darrell Hammond
Designer…..Dennis McNicholas
Designer…..Lori Nasso
FADE IN:
[ INT. CLOTHING DESIGN FIRM ]
[ KATIE, a 30-something career woman, comes in and shakes hands with our NARRATOR. ]
Narrator: I remember the day Katie came to work at Blair Fashion. We clicked right away! What a little pistol she was!! So much energy!
[ Katie guides the seamstresses in the factory. ]
Narrator (V/O): Sometimes she’d create two, or even three, dresses in one day.
[ The narrator peeks over to Katie in mild scorn, who’s working to little or no difficulty. ]
Narrator: She made quite an impression on our head designer.
[ Katie presents a dress design to the board. The narrator grimaces as the head designer and his colleagues laud Katie’s creation. ]
Narrator: It’s hard to keep up with Katie.
[ The narrator taps her wristwatch at Katie’s desk to indicate lunchtime to Katie as the large clock behind her displays 11:55 AM. Katie politely declines. ]
Narrator (V/O): After a while, she got too busy to have lunch with me.
[ The large clock displays 10:17 PM. The cleaning woman buffers the floor. Katie’s still hammering away at her desk. ]
Narrator (V/O): She was kind of making us all look bad…
[ Katie takes measurements on a model wearing her design. A migraine hits Katie. ]
Narrator (V/O): One day I noticed Katie really stressed out.
[ Katie massages her forehead. ]
Narrator: That’s when I suggested Lobotol.
[ CLOSE-UP: HAND DISPENSING “LOBOTOL” ]
[ SUPER: NO NEED TO CONSULT A PHYSICIAN BEFORE USE. ]
[ The narrator holds Katie’s hand holding two Lobotol pills to her mouth until she swallows them. Katie gives in. ]
Narrator: My husband gave it to me when he thought I was asking too many questions… it practically saved our marriage.
[ SUPER: THREE WEEKS LATER… ]
Narrator (V/O): A few weeks later, Katie was much better!
[ The narrator is wearing a more elite business suit and giving directions to the employees. ]
Narrator: Thanks to Lobotol, not only did I get my friend back, but I also got a raise! Careful, Katie!
[ Katie is covered in tulle from head to toe. She scans the room with a vacant mind. ]
[ DISPLAY: LOBOTOL ]
[ SUPER: USE ONLY AS RECOMMENDED BY A “FRIEND” ]
Announcer: Lobotol – now available without a prescription.
Submitted by: Cody Downs
