SNL Transcripts: Chevy Chase: 10/07/95: Prom Flashback

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 2

95b: Chevy Chase / Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

Prom Flashback

Jimbo…..Will Ferrell
Deb…..Cheri Oteri

[ open on Married Couple in their living room, watching TV and making small talk ]

Jimbo: The kids asleep, honey?

Deb: Sound asleep. Oh, Jim, I need you to take Tommy to practice tomorrow, okay?

Jimbo: Okay. Oh.. don’t forget my mother, she’s coming over to dinner Friday.

Deb: Oh. Right.

Jimbo: Did you get the car fixed?

Deb: Yes. It was a lot less than I thought it would be.

Jimbo: Oh, good.. good..

[ slow zoom to pictures on the endtable next to the sofa – camera zooms closer to an old photo of Jim and Debbie, awkwardly dressed, but seemingly happy, at their High School Prom ] [ flash cut to the High School Prom, fifteen years earlier, as Jim and Debbie pose for that very picture ]

Voice of Photographer: Got it! These will be ready in about two weeks.

Jimbo: Alright, thanks! [ Debbie storms away from the crowd, so he follows ] What’s the matter?

Deb: Nothing!

Jimbo: Deb, I love you, what’s wrong?

Deb: I said nothing, Jimbo, alright?

Jimbo: Come on, Deb! What did I do?

Deb: Okay! How about, I’m the only girl at the Prom wearing a wrist corsage instead of a beautiful bouquet to go with my white taffeta one-of-a-kind gown!

Jimbo: I thought you’d like it! It’s called a “nosebud”!

Deb: Try “nosegay”, ass-and-a-half! And why would you think I would like it! No one else is wearing one! Everyone’s staring at me! Everyone thinks.. oh, my God.. you didn’t even pick it out, did you? [ Jim lowers his head ] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Jimbo: My Mom did! She loves you, and I didn’t want to get the wrong thing! Damn!

Deb: Oh, my God!

Jimbo: God! [ punches the air around him ]

Deb: Oh, my God!

Jimbo: Damn! [ punches the air ]

Deb: Excuse me, Rocky Balboa, but I’m embarrassed enough as it is!You cause a scene, and you’re dead! [ music starts to play ] Oh, great! One of my favorite songs!

Jimbo: Come on, Deb, let’s dance.

Deb: No!

Jimbo: Come on, Deb, I love you, let’s dance!

Deb: Okay..

[ they return to the crowd and begin to dance The Robot, despite everyone else dancing normally. Deb starts to cry, then stops dancing. ]

Jimbo: What’s the matter?

Deb: Nothing!

Jimbo: Deb, I love you, what’s wrong?

Deb: Don’t you have any idea what next week is?

Jimbo: Spinks vs. Ali.

Deb: Smooth move, Ex-Lax Perm! Try my birthday!

Jimbo: I know! I was just kidding! You didn’t give me a chance to say “Psyche!” And, besides, I already got my foxy lady a great gift, and I bet you can’t guess what it is.

Deb: I know what it isn’t.

Jimbo: What?

Deb: Try a rabbit fur coat!

Jimbo: [ upset ] Aw, that’s not what Linda said to get!

Deb: Oh, my God! You listened to Linda?!! I’ve only been mad at her for three weeks! You think she’s gonna tell you what I really want?!! Donkeyboy, everybody knows that she’s jealous of me because I’m a fox and she’s not! All she wants to do is copy me! Copy me! Jim, so what did you get me?

Jimbo: [ hesitant ] I..

Deb: Oh, my God! Not another cow neck? [ Jim lowers his head ] Oh, my God! Oh, my god! Oh, my God! I only have 16, butt-wipe! Jimbo, why would you listen to Linda?

Jimbo: I don’t know..

Deb: You never talk to Linda! You don’t even like her.. oh.. my.. God! That’s it. You like her. You like her..

Jimbo: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I cannot even believe you’d say that! Oh, my God!

Deb: You like her.

Jimbo: Oh, my God!

Deb: You like her.

Jimbo: Oh, my God!

Deb: I’m sorry, Jimbo! I’m sorry! Now I wish I were dead!

Jimbo: No! Oh, my God! Don’t even say that!

Deb: No, Jimbo, it’s true! I want to O.D. on my mother’s valium right now!

Jimbo: Oh, my God, you’re scaring me! I love you!

Deb: I love you!

Jimbo: It’ll be okay!

Deb: I love you, Jimbo! Oh, God! [ music starts to play ] Oh, great.. another one of my favorite songs!

Jimbo: Come on, future rabbit fur owner. Let’s dance!

[ they return to the dance floor to perform more Robot-like dance moves – until Deb walks away from the floor again ]

Jimbo: Deb, what’s wrong? [ she smiles ] Why are you smiling like that?

Deb: Jimbo, there’s something I want to tell you. Wait a second.. [ she applies lipstick, the tosses back her hair ]

Jimbo: Deb, you look just like Farrah Fawcett when you do that.

Deb: I know! Jimbo, I love you.. more than I could ever love anyone.. and tonight, after the Prom, I’m ready to show you just how much!

Jimbo: Oh, my God, Deb! Are you serious!

Deb: Yes, Jimbo! Tonight.. I want to give you a B.J.!

Jimbo: [ ecstatic ] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[ Jimbo grabs Deb as they dance into the night ] [ fade to black ]

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