SNL Transcripts: Chevy Chase: 10/07/95: Prom Flashback


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 2

95b: Chevy Chase / Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

Prom Flashback

Jimbo…..Will Ferrell
Deb…..Cheri Oteri

[ open on Married Couple in their living room, watching TV and making small talk ]

Jimbo: The kids asleep, honey?

Deb: Sound asleep. Oh, Jim, I need you to take Tommy to practice tomorrow, okay?

Jimbo: Okay. Oh.. don’t forget my mother, she’s coming over to dinner Friday.

Deb: Oh. Right.

Jimbo: Did you get the car fixed?

Deb: Yes. It was a lot less than I thought it would be.

Jimbo: Oh, good.. good..

[ slow zoom to pictures on the endtable next to the sofa – camera zooms closer to an old photo of Jim and Debbie, awkwardly dressed, but seemingly happy, at their High School Prom ] [ flash cut to the High School Prom, fifteen years earlier, as Jim and Debbie pose for that very picture ]

Voice of Photographer: Got it! These will be ready in about two weeks.

Jimbo: Alright, thanks! [ Debbie storms away from the crowd, so he follows ] What’s the matter?

Deb: Nothing!

Jimbo: Deb, I love you, what’s wrong?

Deb: I said nothing, Jimbo, alright?

Jimbo: Come on, Deb! What did I do?

Deb: Okay! How about, I’m the only girl at the Prom wearing a wrist corsage instead of a beautiful bouquet to go with my white taffeta one-of-a-kind gown!

Jimbo: I thought you’d like it! It’s called a “nosebud”!

Deb: Try “nosegay”, ass-and-a-half! And why would you think I would like it! No one else is wearing one! Everyone’s staring at me! Everyone thinks.. oh, my God.. you didn’t even pick it out, did you? [ Jim lowers his head ] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Jimbo: My Mom did! She loves you, and I didn’t want to get the wrong thing! Damn!

Deb: Oh, my God!

Jimbo: God! [ punches the air around him ]

Deb: Oh, my God!

Jimbo: Damn! [ punches the air ]

Deb: Excuse me, Rocky Balboa, but I’m embarrassed enough as it is!You cause a scene, and you’re dead! [ music starts to play ] Oh, great! One of my favorite songs!

Jimbo: Come on, Deb, let’s dance.

Deb: No!

Jimbo: Come on, Deb, I love you, let’s dance!

Deb: Okay..

[ they return to the crowd and begin to dance The Robot, despite everyone else dancing normally. Deb starts to cry, then stops dancing. ]

Jimbo: What’s the matter?

Deb: Nothing!

Jimbo: Deb, I love you, what’s wrong?

Deb: Don’t you have any idea what next week is?

Jimbo: Spinks vs. Ali.

Deb: Smooth move, Ex-Lax Perm! Try my birthday!

Jimbo: I know! I was just kidding! You didn’t give me a chance to say “Psyche!” And, besides, I already got my foxy lady a great gift, and I bet you can’t guess what it is.

Deb: I know what it isn’t.

Jimbo: What?

Deb: Try a rabbit fur coat!

Jimbo: [ upset ] Aw, that’s not what Linda said to get!

Deb: Oh, my God! You listened to Linda?!! I’ve only been mad at her for three weeks! You think she’s gonna tell you what I really want?!! Donkeyboy, everybody knows that she’s jealous of me because I’m a fox and she’s not! All she wants to do is copy me! Copy me! Jim, so what did you get me?

Jimbo: [ hesitant ] I..

Deb: Oh, my God! Not another cow neck? [ Jim lowers his head ] Oh, my God! Oh, my god! Oh, my God! I only have 16, butt-wipe! Jimbo, why would you listen to Linda?

Jimbo: I don’t know..

Deb: You never talk to Linda! You don’t even like her.. oh.. my.. God! That’s it. You like her. You like her..

Jimbo: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I cannot even believe you’d say that! Oh, my God!

Deb: You like her.

Jimbo: Oh, my God!

Deb: You like her.

Jimbo: Oh, my God!

Deb: I’m sorry, Jimbo! I’m sorry! Now I wish I were dead!

Jimbo: No! Oh, my God! Don’t even say that!

Deb: No, Jimbo, it’s true! I want to O.D. on my mother’s valium right now!

Jimbo: Oh, my God, you’re scaring me! I love you!

Deb: I love you!

Jimbo: It’ll be okay!

Deb: I love you, Jimbo! Oh, God! [ music starts to play ] Oh, great.. another one of my favorite songs!

Jimbo: Come on, future rabbit fur owner. Let’s dance!

[ they return to the dance floor to perform more Robot-like dance moves – until Deb walks away from the floor again ]

Jimbo: Deb, what’s wrong? [ she smiles ] Why are you smiling like that?

Deb: Jimbo, there’s something I want to tell you. Wait a second.. [ she applies lipstick, the tosses back her hair ]

Jimbo: Deb, you look just like Farrah Fawcett when you do that.

Deb: I know! Jimbo, I love you.. more than I could ever love anyone.. and tonight, after the Prom, I’m ready to show you just how much!

Jimbo: Oh, my God, Deb! Are you serious!

Deb: Yes, Jimbo! Tonight.. I want to give you a B.J.!

Jimbo: [ ecstatic ] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[ Jimbo grabs Deb as they dance into the night ] [ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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