SNL Transcripts: David Schwimmer: 10/21/95


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 21st, 1995

David Schwimmer

Natalie Merchant


Adam McKay

Lisa Kudrow

Jennifer Aniston

Gary Coleman

Barry Williams

Jimmie Walker

Jim Downey

Colin Quinn
ABC News Special ReportSummary: Cokie Roberts (Nancy Walls) covers the action at the Washington, D.C. frat boy march staged by Darius Rucker (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, Charlie Sheen.


David Schwimmer’s MonologueSummary: Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Coleman, Barry Williams and Jimmy Walker surprise David Schwimmer by singing their respective theme songs to support for their friend’s big night hosting SNL.


Grayson Moorhead Securities ISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines his investment principles, including keeping a list of how much money each client has invested and to feign listening to the client.

Recurring Characters: Arthur Grayson.


Kids vs. GrownupsSummary: Game show host (David Schwimmer) favors the adults, and that’s tough cookies for the kids.


Grayson Moorhead Securities IISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines more of his investment principles, including what to do if his wife cals while he’s shagging his secretary.

Recurring Characters: Arthur Grayson.


Rita DelVecchioSummary: Italian mom Rita DelVecchio (Cheri Oteri) claims the toys thrown onto her porch by neighborhood kids as her own.

Recurring Characters: Rita DelVecchio.

Note: When Rita gets the hockey net tangled in her dress, Cheri Oteri accidentally mutters, “Look at this shit.”

Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey recalls the Thanksgiving his parents told him they couldn’t afford to buy a turkey.


The ElevatorSummary: A businessman (David Schwimmer) seeks a normal ride up the elevator, only to find that his fellow passengers exhibit odd behaviors once the doors close.


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Jim Breuer re-enacts his recent bar fight. Indian chief John Two Eagles Flying (Will Ferrell) comments on the Cleveland Indians performance at the World Series.

Natalie Merchant performs “Wonder”Lyrics

SecretsSummary: A group of friends are dismayed to learn their buddy Pete’s (Darrell Hammond) secrets while waiting to surprise him in his apartment.

Spade in AmericaSummary: Jennifer Aniston is nonplussed by David Spade’s Hollywood Minute style jokes about “Friends.”

Slim ShannonSummary: Shannon (Nancy Walls), a slim clothing clerk, acts insensitively to her plus-sized customers.

Natalie Merchant performs “Carnival”

Triumph PerformersSummary: Their disabilities won’t stop a group of performers from being in show business.

GoodnightsSummary: David Schwimmer makes Cheri Oteri put a dollar in the Swear Jar for cursing during the Rita DelVecchio sketch.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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