Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 3
Announcer: Fuzzy Memories —[ hand reaches it to open the book to the first page, labled “by Jack Haney” ]
— by Jack Handey.[ hand turns the page to an animated visual of the following sequence: Mom and Dad addressing the kids, and the holiday meal that followed ]
Narrator: I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one when we didn’t even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down, and explained that business hadn’t been good at Dad’s store. So we couldn’t afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine.[ dissolve to the young Jack entering his parents’ bedroom ]
Later, I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom to thank them, and I caught them eating a little turkey. I guess that wasn’t really the best Thanksgiving.