SNL Transcripts: Quentin Tarantino: 11/11/95: Bug-Off


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 5

95e: Quentin Tarantino / Smashing Pumpkins


Spokesman…..Will Ferrell

[ Bug-Off Spokesman walks into dark kitchen and turns on the lights – agroup of roaches quickly scatter away ]

Spokesman: Roaches. Eliminating them from your home should besafe, as well as effective. Most products on the market today use strong poisons to seize a roach’s central nervous system, paralyze him, and eventually kill them. Can’t we do better than that? Now you can, with new Bug-Off.

Roaches are attracted to Bug-Off by a chemical message that says, “Comeon in, it’s warm and safe in here.” Once inside, the roach is held fast by a powerful adhesive, while three pairs of tiny tweezers grab the roach’s legs and strech them in opposite directions until, eventually, they snap off. Meanwhile, a red-hot metal coil burns off the roach’s reproductive organs, as the roach’s own legs are used to beat him senseless. And, with the patented clear-view window, you can be sure it’s working. Finally, wads of turpentine silk cotton are stuffed into the roach’s orifices, while a tasty piece of food dangles just out of his reach.

True, none of this will actually kill the roach.. but it will give himplenty to think about. So stop coddling your roaches. They’ve had ittoo good for too long. Give them what they deserve, with Bug-Off.

Announcer: Bug-Off. Go Medieval!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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