SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 12/16/95


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 9

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 16th, 1995

Madeline Kahn



Colin Quinn
NBC’s Christmas Salute To Our Bosnian TroopsSummary: Jay Leno (Darrell Hammond) and other celebrities entertain the U.S. troops in Bosnia.

Recurring Characters: Jay Leno, George Burns, Fran Drescher, Courtney Love.


Madeline Kahn’s MonologueSummary: Madeline Kahn uses alternating soprano and frog voices to sing Clarence “Frogman” Henry’s “Ain’t Got No Home.”

Also Hosted: 75s, 77b.


Gangsta Bitch BarbieNote: Repeat from 10/07/95.

Spartan CheerleadersSummary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) provide unwelcomed cheers at the high school basketball game.

Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.


John-John Mackey’s Storm Tracker Accu-CastSummary: Tough guy meteorologist John-John Mackey (Tim Meadows) treats bad weather as his personal bitch.


Giant BirdSummary: Bill (David Koechner) and his wife, Nancy (Madeline Kahn), argue as a giant bird carries them away.


Leg UpSummary: Russian ballerina Ludmilla Baschenkova (Madeline Kahn) is tonight’s special guest.

Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller.

Bush performs “Comedown”

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: St. Nicky (Colin Quinn) tells Norm MacDonald how he became Santa Claus.

Lucien & Fagan’s Antique ShopSummary: Lucien (Mark McKinney) and Fagan (David Koechner) won’t break their store’s return policy, not even for their top customer (Madeline Kahn).

Recurring Characters: Lucien, Fagan.

Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog’s head off.

Spade in AmericaSummary: David Spade unveils his wish list for 1996.

Bush performs “Glycerine”

Wedding VowsSummary: A bride (Madeline Kahn) and groom (Will Ferrell) have awkwardly composed their own vows.

Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers a family crisis.

Old Glory InsuranceSummary: Sam Waterston endorses the insurance plan that protects elderly people against robot attacks.

Note: Repeat from 11/18/95.


SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments