Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 9
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
December 16th, 1995
Madeline Kahn
Bush
None
Colin Quinn
NBC’s Christmas Salute To Our Bosnian TroopsSummary: Jay Leno (Darrell Hammond) and other celebrities entertain the U.S. troops in Bosnia.
Recurring Characters: Jay Leno, George Burns, Fran Drescher, Courtney Love.
Montage
Madeline Kahn’s MonologueSummary: Madeline Kahn uses alternating soprano and frog voices to sing Clarence “Frogman” Henry’s “Ain’t Got No Home.”
Also Hosted: 75s, 77b.
Transcript
Gangsta Bitch BarbieNote: Repeat from 10/07/95.
Spartan CheerleadersSummary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) provide unwelcomed cheers at the high school basketball game.
Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.
Transcript
John-John Mackey’s Storm Tracker Accu-CastSummary: Tough guy meteorologist John-John Mackey (Tim Meadows) treats bad weather as his personal bitch.
Transcript
Giant BirdSummary: Bill (David Koechner) and his wife, Nancy (Madeline Kahn), argue as a giant bird carries them away.
Transcript
Leg UpSummary: Russian ballerina Ludmilla Baschenkova (Madeline Kahn) is tonight’s special guest.
Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller.
Bush performs “Comedown”
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: St. Nicky (Colin Quinn) tells Norm MacDonald how he became Santa Claus.
Lucien & Fagan’s Antique ShopSummary: Lucien (Mark McKinney) and Fagan (David Koechner) won’t break their store’s return policy, not even for their top customer (Madeline Kahn).
Recurring Characters: Lucien, Fagan.
Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog’s head off.
Spade in AmericaSummary: David Spade unveils his wish list for 1996.
Bush performs “Glycerine”
Wedding VowsSummary: A bride (Madeline Kahn) and groom (Will Ferrell) have awkwardly composed their own vows.
Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers a family crisis.
Old Glory InsuranceSummary: Sam Waterston endorses the insurance plan that protects elderly people against robot attacks.
Note: Repeat from 11/18/95.
Goodnights