Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
February 17th, 1996
Tom Arnold
Tupac Shakur
None
Paula Pell
Adam Sandler
WMUR 9 CNN DebateRecurring Characters: Bob Dole, Steve Forbes, Pat Buchanan, Alan Keyes.
Montage
Tom Arnold’s MonologueSummary: A clueless Tom Arnold fails to realize he’s insulting cast members with his comments.
Also Hosted: 91n, 92h.
The Life We LeadSummary: To save money, a local station sprinkles news items into soap opera dialogue.
St. Gabriel’s Bake SaleSummary: Devout churchgoer Gail Lafferty (Nancy Walls) issues ass kickings.
Recurring Characters: Gail Lafferty, Barb, Mary.
Tupac Shakur performs “California Love”
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) phones an update in to Norm MacDonald. Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) gives more local news updates. Adam Sandler sings “Dip Doodle”, a song about his grandmother.
Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.
Miracles of ScienceSummary: Despite having an oversized head, Gus “Braniac” Grady (Arnold) is not all that smart.
Naive Mrs. KogenSummary: Mrs. Kogen (Jim Breuer) naively insists to Officer Markell (Tom Arnold) that her son (Colin Quinn) is not a criminal.
Gerald TibbinsSummary: Gerald “T-Bone” Tibbins (David Koechner) readies a patient (Tom Arnold) for surgery.
Recurring Characters: Gerald Tibbins.
Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handy recalls his dad’s woodpecker-induced suicide.
Tupac Shakur performs “I Ain’t Mad At Cha”
Tree Slice DisplaySummary: Criminal ranger Ron Blanston (Tom Arnold) uses tree slice to illustrate his mission.
PetchowSummary: Hank Petchow’s (Will Ferrell) rat poison is dusguised as dog food so as fool its intended victims.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
