Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 14
1-600-555-AUSSIE
Australian Woman…..Elle MacPherson
Operator #1…..Molly Shannon
Male Caller #1…..Jim Breuer
Operator #2…..Nancy Walls
Male Caller #2…..David Koechner
Male Caller #3…..Will Ferrell
Operator #3…..Sting
Male Caller #4…..Mark McKinney
Operator #4…..Tim Meadows
[ Music Intro: “Down Under”, Men At Work ]
[ open on Australian Woman sitting along the beach ]
Australian Woman: Hi, mates. Do you like beautiful, sexy Australian girls who love having wild sex? Then pick up the phone and call 1-600-555-AUSSIE, for the most erotic one-to-one adult yabber with hot, sexy Australian beauties.
Operator #1: Oh, baby, baby.. I want you to faucet your banana fender, and let me razoo you like a brumby! Then I’ll unzip your strides and let you laff all over me cuckoo burrows!
Male Caller #1: [ confused ] What?!
Australian Woman: It’s the steamiest phone sex line this side of Adelaie. Good-looking sheilas with perfect bodies want to talk naughty to you right now!
Operator #2: Hey, I got a really wet yabbie! So go ahead andchockablock me in the gunny until I waltz in you boots!
Male Caller #2: [ confused ] Uh.. I don’t get what you’re saying.. can we just have phone sex..?
Operator #2: Eww! Take out your boomer and do me Yahoo Serious-style, you tanky bushman!
Male Caller #2: Can you repeat that?
Australian Woman: So don’t be a jumsheep. Because no matterwhat turns you on, there’s nothing these hot, horny lookers can’t handle. How about a kinky three-way Aussie-style?
Male Caller #3: Oh, yeah!
Operator #2: Oy!
Operator #1: Durite!
Operator #2: Oy!
Operator #1: Durite!
Male Caller #3: What?
Operators: Good on you!
Male Caller #3: You’re.. you’re scaring me..
Australian Woman: So, what do you say, jackeroos? Dial now, and one of our hot Australian fluffs will order your brains out and satisfy your vegemite sandwich! And if you’e interested in Aussie men, dial 1-600-555-BLOKE.
Operator #3: Oh, I’m an airy gent, sitting in my decksoff white on me legs? What you doin’, ocker?
Male Caller #4: I don’t know what you just said, but I love it!
Australian Woman: And if you’re into a hankering for Tasmanian girls, dial 1-600-555-ABORIGINE.
Aborigine Girl: Menocha! Dingo! Fallupi fandanga sucka! *click* *click* *click*
Australian Woman: So don’t come aguster. If you like sexy Australian girls, then 1-600-555-AUSSIE’s for you. Remember, the only thing better than you going down on your billibong, is you going down under with us.
Announcer: Only $22 a minute, nonresidents add Australian BTU tax. Non-applicable to residents of Brisbon, Kanurra and Central Perk. Wallabies must 18 or over.
Male Caller #4 & Australian Woman: So call, and we’ll wop-wopyour orifice now!
