Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 15
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
March 16th, 1996
John Goodman
Everclear
None
Lorne Michaels
Elle MacPherson
Kurt Loder
Andy Murphy
20/20Summary: Chris Darden (Tim Meadows) recalls an affair he had with Marcia Clark (Nancy Walls).
Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Hugh Downs, Marcia Clark.
Montage
John Goodman’s MonologueSummary: Now that he’s hosting SNL for the 7th time, John Goodman has the power to make the cast do anything he wants them to.
Transcript
Grayson Moorhead Securities ISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines his investment principles, including keeping a list of how much money each client has invested and to feign listening to the client.
Note: Repeat from 10/21/95.
MTV NewsSummary: Kurt Loder gives a quick music news briefing.
The Real World ISummary: Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) won’t let his younger housemates touch his peanut butter or use his favorite chair.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.
Transcript
The Joe Pesci ShowSummary: Joe Pesci (Jim Breuer) and a heavyset Robert DeNiro (John Goodman) assault Oscar winners.
Recurring Characters: Joe Pesci, Robert DeNiro, Richard Dreyfuss, Maria Tomei.
The Real World IISummary: The younger housemates take further offense to Bob Dole’s (Norm MacDonald) behavior.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.
Transcript
Substitute Teacher Suel ForresterSummary: Students can’t understand substitute teacher Suel Forrestor’s (Chris Kattan) mangled English.
Recurring Characters: Suel Forrestor.
The Real World IIISummary: Bob Dole’s (Norm MacDonald) younger housemates finally kick him out.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.
Transcript
Everclear performs “Santa Monica”
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Colin Quinn comments on St. Patrick’s Day.
Fecal MattersSummary: John Fecal (Mark McKinney) is obsessed with the discussion of fecal matter.
Grayson Moorhead Securities IISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines more of his investment principles, including what to do if his wife cals while he’s shagging his secretary.
Note: Repeat from 10/21/95.
Gary MacDonald at WorkSummary: Extremely nervous Gary MacDonald (David Koechner) free-associates amidst his company’s downsizing procedures.
Recurring Characters: Gary MacDonald.
Forbes AmericaSummary: Steve Forbes (Mark McKinney) is the proud creator of his own personal America in a remote part of the world.
Recurring Characters: Steve Forbes.
Bill Brasky’s Buddies at Holiday InnSummary: The drunk businessmen (Will Ferrell, David Koechner, Mark McKinney, John Goodman) further praise the mythological Bill Brasky.
Recurring Characters: Hank, Ted, Buddies.
Transcript
Goodnights
