SNL Transcripts: John Goodman: 03/16/96

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 15


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


March 16th, 1996

John Goodman

Everclear

None

Lorne Michaels

Elle MacPherson

Kurt Loder

Andy Murphy
20/20Summary: Chris Darden (Tim Meadows) recalls an affair he had with Marcia Clark (Nancy Walls).

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Hugh Downs, Marcia Clark.

Montage

John Goodman’s MonologueSummary: Now that he’s hosting SNL for the 7th time, John Goodman has the power to make the cast do anything he wants them to.

Transcript

Grayson Moorhead Securities ISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines his investment principles, including keeping a list of how much money each client has invested and to feign listening to the client.

Note: Repeat from 10/21/95.

MTV NewsSummary: Kurt Loder gives a quick music news briefing.

The Real World ISummary: Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) won’t let his younger housemates touch his peanut butter or use his favorite chair.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.

Transcript

The Joe Pesci ShowSummary: Joe Pesci (Jim Breuer) and a heavyset Robert DeNiro (John Goodman) assault Oscar winners.

Recurring Characters: Joe Pesci, Robert DeNiro, Richard Dreyfuss, Maria Tomei.

The Real World IISummary: The younger housemates take further offense to Bob Dole’s (Norm MacDonald) behavior.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.

Transcript

Substitute Teacher Suel ForresterSummary: Students can’t understand substitute teacher Suel Forrestor’s (Chris Kattan) mangled English.

Recurring Characters: Suel Forrestor.

The Real World IIISummary: Bob Dole’s (Norm MacDonald) younger housemates finally kick him out.
Recurring Characrters: Bob Dole.

Transcript

Everclear performs “Santa Monica”

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Colin Quinn comments on St. Patrick’s Day.

Fecal MattersSummary: John Fecal (Mark McKinney) is obsessed with the discussion of fecal matter.

Grayson Moorhead Securities IISummary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines more of his investment principles, including what to do if his wife cals while he’s shagging his secretary.

Note: Repeat from 10/21/95.

Gary MacDonald at WorkSummary: Extremely nervous Gary MacDonald (David Koechner) free-associates amidst his company’s downsizing procedures.

Recurring Characters: Gary MacDonald.

Forbes AmericaSummary: Steve Forbes (Mark McKinney) is the proud creator of his own personal America in a remote part of the world.

Recurring Characters: Steve Forbes.

Bill Brasky’s Buddies at Holiday InnSummary: The drunk businessmen (Will Ferrell, David Koechner, Mark McKinney, John Goodman) further praise the mythological Bill Brasky.

Recurring Characters: Hank, Ted, Buddies.

Transcript

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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