Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 16
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
March 23rd, 1996
Phil Hartman
Gin Blossoms
None
Lorne Michaels
Adam McKay
Paula Pell
Dennis McNicholas
Heston’s Advice to DoleSummary: Charlton Heston (Phil Hartman) gives Bob Dole an image makeover.
Recurring Characters: Bob Bole, Charlton Heston.
Montage
Phil Hartman’s MonologueSummary: After having performed an exceptional number of impressions over the years, Phil Hartman has lost sense of his real identity.
Also Hosted: 96g.
Transcript
BugOffSummary: The roach motel that lets you torture roaches for a cheap thrill!
Note: Repeat from 11/11/95.
Leg UpSummary: Debbie Reynolds (Cheri Oteri) and Ann Miller (Molly Shannon) on a bygone era with Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman).
Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller, Frank Sinatra.
Acting classSummary: Acting teacher Bobby Coldsman (Phil Hartman) abuses his class of acting hopefuls while name-dropping the likes of Gordon Jump.
Recurring Characters: Bobby Coldsman, Troy, Brian, Kelley.
Transcript
Roxbury GuysSummary: Brothers Steve (Will Ferrell) and Doug Butabi (Chris Kattan) try to attract women at the Roxbury club.
Recurring Characters: Doug Butabi, Steve Butabi.
Transcript
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Frankenstein (Phil Hartman) makes a quick comment on budget cutbacks. Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) comments about how black actors are being snubbed during the Academy Awards.
Recurring Characters: Frankenstein, Jesse Jackson.
Transcript
Gin Blossoms performs “Follow You Down”
You’re The ManSummary: While attempting an arrest, police office (Phil Hartman) tells guntoting Johnny DeSanto (Chris Kattan) that he’s the man.
Spade in AmericaSummary: David Spade delivers a movie-oriented Hollywood Minute.
Unfrozen Caveman LawyerSummary: Naive-acting Cirroc (Phil Hartman) defends a tobacco company.
Recurring Characters: Cirroc.
Transcript
Gin Blossoms performs “Memphis Time”
TaddliSummary: Talk show host Taddli (Mark McKinney) chastises his pot-smoking guests.
Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog’s head off.
Note: Repeat from 12/16/95.
Goodnights
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Uncle JohnSummary: Uncle John (Phil Hartman) engages in peculiar vices while recording a commercial for his buttermilk flapjacks.
Note: This sketch appears as a bonus feature on the Best of Phil Hartman
DVD.
Transcript
