SNL Transcripts: Phil Hartman: 03/23/96



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 16


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


March 23rd, 1996

Phil Hartman

Gin Blossoms

None

Lorne Michaels

Adam McKay

Paula Pell

Dennis McNicholas
Heston’s Advice to DoleSummary: Charlton Heston (Phil Hartman) gives Bob Dole an image makeover.

Recurring Characters: Bob Bole, Charlton Heston.

Montage

Phil Hartman’s MonologueSummary: After having performed an exceptional number of impressions over the years, Phil Hartman has lost sense of his real identity.

Also Hosted: 96g.

Transcript

BugOffSummary: The roach motel that lets you torture roaches for a cheap thrill!

Note: Repeat from 11/11/95.

Leg UpSummary: Debbie Reynolds (Cheri Oteri) and Ann Miller (Molly Shannon) on a bygone era with Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman).

Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller, Frank Sinatra.

Acting classSummary: Acting teacher Bobby Coldsman (Phil Hartman) abuses his class of acting hopefuls while name-dropping the likes of Gordon Jump.
Recurring Characters: Bobby Coldsman, Troy, Brian, Kelley.

Transcript

Roxbury GuysSummary: Brothers Steve (Will Ferrell) and Doug Butabi (Chris Kattan) try to attract women at the Roxbury club.

Recurring Characters: Doug Butabi, Steve Butabi.

Transcript

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Frankenstein (Phil Hartman) makes a quick comment on budget cutbacks. Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) comments about how black actors are being snubbed during the Academy Awards.
Recurring Characters: Frankenstein, Jesse Jackson.

Transcript

Gin Blossoms performs “Follow You Down”

You’re The ManSummary: While attempting an arrest, police office (Phil Hartman) tells guntoting Johnny DeSanto (Chris Kattan) that he’s the man.

Spade in AmericaSummary: David Spade delivers a movie-oriented Hollywood Minute.

Unfrozen Caveman LawyerSummary: Naive-acting Cirroc (Phil Hartman) defends a tobacco company.

Recurring Characters: Cirroc.

Transcript

Gin Blossoms performs “Memphis Time”

TaddliSummary: Talk show host Taddli (Mark McKinney) chastises his pot-smoking guests.

Fuzzy MemoriesSummary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog’s head off.

Note: Repeat from 12/16/95.

Goodnights

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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Uncle JohnSummary: Uncle John (Phil Hartman) engages in peculiar vices while recording a commercial for his buttermilk flapjacks.

Note: This sketch appears as a bonus feature on the Best of Phil Hartman DVD.

Transcript

SNL Transcripts

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