SNL Transcripts: Teri Hatcher: 04/20/96: The Princess and the Homeboy



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 18




95r: Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band

The Princess and the Homeboy

G-Dog…..Tim Meadows
Princess…..Teri Hatcher
Daddy…..Mark McKinney

Announcer: Get ready, America, ’cause next Monday there’s a surprise in store for “The Fresh Prince” and for L.L. Cool J! You see, a new brother’s moving to the ‘hood, and he’s as legit as they come!

[ G-Dog enters through the front door of a suburban home ]

G-Dog: Yo, what’s up, [ bleep ]? Where the [ bleep ] at?

Announcer: “The Princess and the Homeboy”

Princess: I’ll thank you not to use that kind of languagein this house.

G-Dog: Yeah? Well, I’ll Thank you to shut the [ bleep ] up! Now go make me a [ bleeping ] sandwich!

Announcer: Rupert Records’ recording artist, G-Dog, is going from Compton to the country club, and life around the Anderson home is about to be turned upside-down!

[ cut to father-daughter chat ]

Daddy: Look, right before G-Dog’s father passed away, I promisedhim that G-Dog could live here with us.

Princess: But, Dad, he just got out of prison, and he’s driving me bonkers!

G-Dog: [ pops his head up from behind the couch ] What are you[ bleep ] talking about? Some [ bleep ]?

Daddy: Oh, dear!

Announcer: Matt Roush of USA Today says, “Me and my homeys have never laughed so hard. This is my new favorite ‘hood – even though I’m not black, and I never watch TV and I’m an idiot!”

[ cut to Anderson living room, G-Dog watching TV while wating an icecream cone ]

Princess: G-Dog, that was my ice cream cone!

G-Dog: Yeah? [ flips it upside-down and plants it on his crotch ] Well, come and get it [ bleep ]!

Princess: G-Dog, I’m serious! You know my favorite show is on now!

G-Dog: Oh, [ bleep ] that! I ain’ watchin’ no [ bleep ] “Friends”! Go [ bleep ] yourself, you dumb bitch!

Announcer: He’s a thug-rapper. She’s a suburban princess. Sounds like these two were made for each other!

[ cut to G-Dog’s dog barking at Princess ]

Princess: G-Dog, your pit bull is scaring me!

G-Dog: You touch that [ bleep ] dog, I’ll cut your [ bleeping ]head off!

[ Daddy enters ]

Daddy: Oh, no.. are you two at it again?

G-Dog: Yo! Back the [ bleep ] off, you dumb [ bleep ]

Princess: Yeah, you [ bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep ]

G-Dog & Princess: [ bleep ] you!!

Daddy: Oh, double dear!

Announcer: “The Princess and the Homeboy”. Coming this Mondayon NB [ bleep ] C.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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