SNL Transcripts: Teri Hatcher: 04/20/96: The Princess and the Homeboy


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 18

95r: Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band

The Princess and the Homeboy

G-Dog…..Tim Meadows
Princess…..Teri Hatcher
Daddy…..Mark McKinney

Announcer: Get ready, America, ’cause next Monday there’s a surprise in store for “The Fresh Prince” and for L.L. Cool J! You see, a new brother’s moving to the ‘hood, and he’s as legit as they come!

[ G-Dog enters through the front door of a suburban home ]

G-Dog: Yo, what’s up, [ bleep ]? Where the [ bleep ] at?

Announcer: “The Princess and the Homeboy”

Princess: I’ll thank you not to use that kind of languagein this house.

G-Dog: Yeah? Well, I’ll Thank you to shut the [ bleep ] up! Now go make me a [ bleeping ] sandwich!

Announcer: Rupert Records’ recording artist, G-Dog, is going from Compton to the country club, and life around the Anderson home is about to be turned upside-down!

[ cut to father-daughter chat ]

Daddy: Look, right before G-Dog’s father passed away, I promisedhim that G-Dog could live here with us.

Princess: But, Dad, he just got out of prison, and he’s driving me bonkers!

G-Dog: [ pops his head up from behind the couch ] What are you[ bleep ] talking about? Some [ bleep ]?

Daddy: Oh, dear!

Announcer: Matt Roush of USA Today says, “Me and my homeys have never laughed so hard. This is my new favorite ‘hood – even though I’m not black, and I never watch TV and I’m an idiot!”

[ cut to Anderson living room, G-Dog watching TV while wating an icecream cone ]

Princess: G-Dog, that was my ice cream cone!

G-Dog: Yeah? [ flips it upside-down and plants it on his crotch ] Well, come and get it [ bleep ]!

Princess: G-Dog, I’m serious! You know my favorite show is on now!

G-Dog: Oh, [ bleep ] that! I ain’ watchin’ no [ bleep ] “Friends”! Go [ bleep ] yourself, you dumb bitch!

Announcer: He’s a thug-rapper. She’s a suburban princess. Sounds like these two were made for each other!

[ cut to G-Dog’s dog barking at Princess ]

Princess: G-Dog, your pit bull is scaring me!

G-Dog: You touch that [ bleep ] dog, I’ll cut your [ bleeping ]head off!

[ Daddy enters ]

Daddy: Oh, no.. are you two at it again?

G-Dog: Yo! Back the [ bleep ] off, you dumb [ bleep ]

Princess: Yeah, you [ bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep ]

G-Dog & Princess: [ bleep ] you!!

Daddy: Oh, double dear!

Announcer: “The Princess and the Homeboy”. Coming this Mondayon NB [ bleep ] C.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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