Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 21: Episode 19
Get Off The Shed II
Frank: (Said Over Happy Birthday) Brandon, Michael, cmon cake time, guys?
Susan: Did you make a wish honey?
Frank: I hope you wished for a high yield mutual fund. (Laughter)
Tom: You son of a gun Frank.
Susan: Alright, who wants cake?
Kids: me me me!
Tom: Frank, Susan, are Brandon and Michael coming?
Frank: Yeah, I called them I just dont know where they went to.
Shirley: oh no wait, there they are on top of the tool shed honey.
Frank: Oh, hey Brandon, Michael, would you do me and mom a favor and get off that shed, cmon guys I need you to be a buddy, get off the shed. What do you say, cake time, here we go cmon.
Shirley: Ill take a small piece and I mean small. Hey guys your dad wasnt joking lets get off the shed.
Susan: Ya know Johnny did you thank Brandon and Michaels parents for giving you the lion king video.
Johnny: Oh thank you
Frank: Oh youre welcome son, I just hope you enjoy watching it as much as Brandon and Michael do. GET OFF THE SHED!!
Shirley: Ya know our boys must have watched that tape 500 times, we ended up having to buy a new tape.
Frank: True story
Shirley: GET OFF THE DAMN SHED!
Tom: Well, you know our kids just love Disney.
Susan: Oh yeah, every movie we buy is Disney. All: Yeah
Shirley: Pretty soon theyll be running the government.
Shirley: I WILL SHOVE YOU TWO BACK INTO MY WOMB IF YOU DONT GET OFF THE SHED! You know, what a great day for a party.
Frank: Yeah Yeah
Shirley: I was talking to Jan Vixson just last Friday and she was telling me that (cut off)
Frank: I WILL DRIVE YOU OUT TO THE DESERT AND LEAVE YOU THERE FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF AUGUST IF YOU DONT GET OFF THAT SHED!!
Shirley: I telling a story. Im telling a story
Shirley: Anyway, she was just saying how hard it is to find good entertainment for a kids party. I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE PHILIPPIANS AND SELL YOUR KIDNEYS ON THE BLACK MARKET IF YOU DONT GET OFF THAT SHED!
Johnny: Mommy, why are the man and the lady yelling?
Susan: I dont know, just dont go near the shed.
Frank: So hey birthday boy, hows it feel to be nine?
Frank: Thats adorable. I WILL DOUSE YOU IN GASOLINE AND LIGHT YOU ON FIRE LIKE THAT BUDDHIST MONK IN VIETNAM IF YOU DONT GET OFF THAT DAMN SHED!!
Shirley: IF YOU DONT GET DOWN FROM THAT DAMN SHED I WILL LEGALLY CHANGE YOUR NAMES TO FRUIT AND WUSSY!
Frank: I WILL TAKE YOU INTO A DARK ALLEY AND FIGHT YOU IF YOU ARENT DOWN IN TWO SECONDS!!!!
Shirley: HE WILL DO THAT AND I WILL VIDEOTAPE IT AND MAKE YOU WATCH IT EVERY CHRISTMAS MORNING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES! Together-GET OF THE SHED! GET OFF THAT SHED!
Frank: GET OFF! Michael: Dad, were right here.
Brandon: We were inside playing Nintendo the whole time.
Frank: Oh. Sorry kids, I dont have my contacts in. Hey, let’s have some cake eh?
Submitted by: Andrew