SNL Transcripts: Tom Hanks: 09/28/96: Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 1




96a: Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

…..Norm MacDonald
…..Kerry Strug
Kippy Strug…..Chris Kattan
Coach Bella…..Mark McKinney

Norm MacDonald: For many of us who watched, the greatest moment of the Summer Olympics was the winning of the gold medal by the Woman’s Gymnastic Team. Here with me now are Kerry Strug and her brother Kippy.

Kerry Strug: Thanks for having us on the show, Norm!

Kippy Strug: [ hyper ] Yeah, thanks!

Norm MacDonald: So, Kerry.. Kerry, let me start with you. What was going through your head as you were getting ready for that second vault.

Kerry Strug: Well, I was really nervous. But at the same time, I knew that I had to stay focused. And I knew that if I stayed focused, we might have a good chance of winning.

Norm MacDonald: Now, uh.. Kippy. You were there that night. What was going on through your mind?

Kippy Strug: Well.. first, I was really excited! But, then she hurt her ankle, and I got really nervous – on top of being excited! But I was just hoping she can keep her focus.. so I said a little prayer!

Kerry Strug: You said a little prayer?

Kippy Strug: I said a little prayer!

Kerry Strug: That’s so sweet!

Kippy Strug: I know it is, isn’t it!

Norm MacDonald: Now, Kerry, what’s in store for you now?

Kerry Strug: Well, right now I’m really busy, because I’m starting school. And, on top of that, I also have a lot of opportunities.

Kippy Strug: What? That’s so weird! Because, after you hit the second vault, I said another prayer for you to get a lot of opportunities!

Kerry Strug: You did? you said another prayer?

Kippy Strug: Yeah, I said another prayer!

Kerry Strug: That’s so sweet.

Kippy Strug: I know it is, isn’t it!

Coach Bella: [ steps forward ] Okay, you two, come on, party’s over! Come on! Come on!

Kerry & Kippy: Hi, Bella!

Coach Bella: Hey, no time for hellos, we have to go to next interview! Come on, Kerry! Up! Up! [ picks up Kerry ]

Kerry Strug: Aren’t you coming, Kippy?

Kippy Strug: Yeah, I guess I’m coming! [ stands up, but falss to the floor ]

Coach Bella: What!

Kippy Strug: My foot’s asleep! It’s all tingly!

Coach Bella: Come, Kippy! Come on, you can do it! You can do it!

Kippy Strug: No, I can’t!

Kerry Strug: Do it, Kippy! Do it!

Coach Bella: Kippy, listen to me, you can do it! Shake it off, Kippy!

Kippy Strug: [ crying ] I can’t concentrate if you yell at me!

Kerry Strug: Shake it off!

Coach Bella: Shake it off!

Kerry Strug: Shake it off!

Coach Bella: Shake it off!

Kippy Strug: [ recovers ] I’m okay! U.S.A.!

Coach Bella: Okay! Let’s go! [ they exit ] [ Norm MacDonald holds up his hand and waves to the camera, as “Weekend Update” fades out ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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