SNL Transcripts: Bill Pullman: 10/19/96


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 22: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 19th, 1996

Bill Pullman

New Edition


Adam McKay
Dole’s Dream DebateSummary: Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) dreams that he’s debating Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman), the ficticious president from “Independence Day.”

Recurring Characters: Jim Lehrer, Bob Dole, Elizabeth Dole.


Bill Pullman’s MonologueSummary: Having played the President of the United States in “Independence Day”, Bill Pullman is proud to now be considered a sex symbol.


Home Security DecoysSummary: Bill Tasker (Mark McKinney) touts the menacing dummies that keep real criminals away.


AT&T OperatorsSummary: Operators Janice (Will Ferrell) and Kelly (Chris Kattan) chat between calls.


Tic Tac ToeSummary: Crotchety carpenter Jack (Norm MacDonald) has to physically nail the X’s and O’s to the game board, while his son, Jack, Jr. (Mark McKinney), plugs the home version.

Note: One of the pieces falls on Norm MacDonald’s head while he pounds another piece into place.

The Rules ShowSummary: Ellen Fein (Ana Gasteyer) and Sherrie Shneider (Molly Shannon) advise want-to-be brides to “get the ring.”

TV FunhouseSummary: During “Fun With Real Audio”, President Clinton and Bob Dole’s weaknesses surface during their latest debate.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Harry Caray (Will Ferrell) offers his thoughts on the World Series.

Recurring Characters: Harry Caray.


New Edition performs “Hit Me Off”

Hollywood PartySummary: Beatrice (Molly Shannon) and Sebastian (Chris Kattan) dish celebrity gossip.

The Quiet StormSummary: Chris “Champagne” Garnett (Tim Meadows) battles it out with his station manager (Bill Pullman) after he’s fired.

Recurring Characters: Chris “Champagne” Garnett.


New Edition performs “I’m Still In Love With You”

The Heyward FoundationSummary: Desperate to get into heaven, wealthy John W. Heyward (Bill Pullman) fronts a research lab that can put a camel through a needle for him.


Hidden CameraSummary: The hidden camera pranks are far too obvious for the general public.

Women’s Kick BoxingSummary: Promoter Hal Mendez (Bill Pullman) oversells the promise of women kicking women hard.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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