SNL Transcripts: Chris Rock: 11/02/96



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 2nd, 1996

Chris Rock

The Wallflowers

Dana Carvey

Stephen Colbert

Abe Vigoda
The Fishing DockSummary: Former president George Bush (Dana Carvey) meets Republican nominee Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) on the dock and gives him a pep dock in preparation of his impending election loss.

Recurring Characters: George Bush, Bob Dole, President Bill Clinton.

Montage

Chris Rock’s MonologueSummary: Chris Rock performs a stand-up routine on topics that include President Bill Clinton and sexual harassment.

Transcript

ExcedrilSummary: For those who use Excedril, the pain reliever’s lack of scientific evidence makes it more valuable.

Transcript

I’m Chillin’Summary: Despite the departure of B-Fats, Onski (Chris Rock) plays videos with new co-host B Real (Jim Breuer).

Recurring Characters: Onski.

Dole/Kemp ’96Summary: A Black Guy (Tim Meadows), a Woman (Molly Shanno), and a Gay Man (Mark McKinney) advise that Bob Dole can’t win the election if nobody bothers to vote.

The Dark Side with Nat XSummary: Nat X (Chris Rock) makes fun of Tori Spelling (Cheri Oteri), Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond), and Mike Tyson (Tracy Morgan).

Recurring Characters: Nat X, Jesse Jackson, Tori Spelling, Mike Tyson.

Transcript

Mark Russell’s Election Year Comedy SpecialSummary: Mark Russell’s (Mark McKinney) song parodies aren’t much, but they’re on the mark!

Charles GrodinSummary: Charles Grodin (Dana Carvey) previews other celebrity-hosted political talk shows.

Recurring Characters: Richard Dreyfuss, Nipsey Russell.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldTranscript

The Wallflowers performs “One Headlight”

TV FunhouseSummary: The Ambiguously Gay Duo battle Big Head and Queen Serena in “Queen of Terror”.

Dole’s SpeechesSummary: Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) rehearses his victory speech for when he wins the presidency, until Lorne Michaels advises Norm MacDonald that it’s inevitably time to give up this impression.

Recurring Characters: Bob Dole, Elizabeth Dole.

My Son, College GraduateSummary: College graduate’s (Tim Meadows) dad (Chris Rock) and Granddad (Tracy Morgan) make fun of him for getting an education.

Transcript

The CulpsSummary: Music teachers Marty Culp (Will Ferrell) and Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbi Mohan-Culp.

Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room JamSummary: A foul-mouthed doctor (Chris Rock) receives the censor’s cuts.

Transcript

PerspectivesSummary: Lionel Osbourne (Tim Meadows) interviews Million Man marcher Abdul Kareem Gaines (Chris Rock).

Recurring Characters: Lionel Osbourne.

Transcript

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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