SNL Transcripts: Chris Rock: 11/02/96: Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 22: Episode 5

96e: Chris Rock / The Wallflowers

Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam

Doctor…..Chris Rock

[ open on doctors rushing a dying patient into the emergency room ]

Doctor: Scalpel! Scalpel! [ yelling ] Can a nigger get a SCALPEL up in this [ bleep ]!! [ the wrong instrument is handed to him ] I said SCALPEL, you [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ SUPER: “Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam” ]

Announcer: Yo! It’s “Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam”.

Doctor: Come on! [ opens patient’s chest ] Damn, nigger! What you been eating, arteries all clogged up and [ bleep ]! He’s dead?! No bull.. [ bleep ]! [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] Get this DEAD mother [ bleep ] [ bleep ] out of here! And WHICH one of you nurses is gonna [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]?!

Announcer: “Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam”. Only on HBO.

[ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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