SNL Transcripts: Rosie O’Donnell: 12/14/96

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 7


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

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Bit Players:


December 14th, 1996

Rosie O’Donnell

Whitney Houston

Penny Marshall

Beavis & Butt-Head

A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: In the spirit of Christmas, President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) make up.

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Michael Jackson, Janet Reno, Debbie Rowe.

Montage

Rosie O’Donnell’s MonologueSummary: Rosie O’Donnell sings “I Got You Babe” with Penny Marshall and Whitney Houston.

Darnette Disposable ToiletsSummary: Why use the same toilet more than once?

Transcript

SpartansSummary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) perform cheers for Pepperidge Farms.

Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.

Mary Katherine GallagherSummary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) performs as her school’s Little Drummer Girl.

Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Transcript

Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) discuss gingerbread and citrus.

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Teri Rialto.

TV FunhouseSummary: The Ambiguously Gay Duo rescues Santa Claus in “Don We Now… or Never”.

A Christmas Greeting from Goat BoyRecurring Characters: Goat Boy.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Beavis & Butt-Head share the meaning of Christmas with Norm MacDonald.

Transcript

Whitney Houston sings “I Believe In You & Me”

Rita DelvecchioSummary: Rita (Cheri Oteri) makes amends with bickering neighbor Theresa (Penny Marshall).

Recurring Characters: Rita Delvecchio.

Russell & TateSummary: For Christmas, Russell (Tim Meadows) & Tate (Tracy Morgan) will get your money.

Recurring Characters: Russell, Tate witherspoon.

The Local NewsSummary: Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) hosts a talk show in his basement.

Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.

Whitney Houston sings “I Go To The Rock”

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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