Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 22: Episode 7
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
December 14th, 1996
Rosie O’Donnell
Whitney Houston
Penny Marshall
Beavis & Butt-Head
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: In the spirit of Christmas, President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) make up.
Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Michael Jackson, Janet Reno, Debbie Rowe.
Montage
Rosie O’Donnell’s MonologueSummary: Rosie O’Donnell sings “I Got You Babe” with Penny Marshall and Whitney Houston.
Darnette Disposable ToiletsSummary: Why use the same toilet more than once?
Transcript
SpartansSummary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) perform cheers for Pepperidge Farms.
Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.
Mary Katherine GallagherSummary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) performs as her school’s Little Drummer Girl.
Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher.
Transcript
Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) discuss gingerbread and citrus.
Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Teri Rialto.
TV FunhouseSummary: The Ambiguously Gay Duo rescues Santa Claus in “Don We Now… or Never”.
A Christmas Greeting from Goat BoyRecurring Characters: Goat Boy.
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Beavis & Butt-Head share the meaning of Christmas with Norm MacDonald.
Transcript
Whitney Houston sings “I Believe In You & Me”
Rita DelvecchioSummary: Rita (Cheri Oteri) makes amends with bickering neighbor Theresa (Penny Marshall).
Recurring Characters: Rita Delvecchio.
Russell & TateSummary: For Christmas, Russell (Tim Meadows) & Tate (Tracy Morgan) will get your money.
Recurring Characters: Russell, Tate witherspoon.
The Local NewsSummary: Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) hosts a talk show in his basement.
Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.
Whitney Houston sings “I Go To The Rock”
Goodnights
