Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 22: Episode 10
Kevin Spacey’s Monologue
Kevin Spacey: Thank you. Thank you. It’s a great opportunity to be here hosting “Saturday Night Live”. I think it’s really a perfect fit for me because when you hear the name Kevin Spacey, you think one word: comedy. And now that I have the laugh market cornered, I thought I’d take a few minutes and show you Kevin Spacey’s sentimental side. This is an old favorite of mine.
[ he picks up microphone, sits on stool, and sings “In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning”, as the following SUPERS roll by: ]
[ SUPER: “We know what you’re thinking.
This is stupid.” ]
[ SUPER: “The only reason we allowed Kevin Spacey to sing this song is because he threatened us.
[ SUPER: “He is a very sick individual with severe emotional problems.
For example, he demanded a seperate dressing room for “The bad Kevin.”
Kevin Spacey also has a history of violent behavior.” ]
[ SUPER: “Dennis Hopper has refused to work with him.” ]
[ SUPER: “During Thursday’s rehearsal, Kevin stuck a gun in Norm MacDonald’s mouth.
Needless to say, Norm didn’t like it.
According to his court-appointed psychiatrist, you “should avoid making any sudden movements around Kevin Spacey.”
Last night a crew member accidentally dropped a cue card.
Kevin responded by shoving Don Pardo down a flight of stairs.
And then he stuck a gun in Norm MacDonald’s mouth.
The next time you see one of his movies, just remember that Kevin Spacey plays psychos…
Because he really is a psycho.” ]
[ song ends ]
Call me crazy, but I like that song. We got a great show tonight. Beck is here, so stick around. We’ll be right back.
Submitted by: Tony DuMont