Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 22: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
February 15th, 1997
Chevy Chase
Live
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NightlineSummary: Ted Koppel (Darrell Hammond) interviews actresses Debbie Reynolds (Cheri Oteri), Madonna (Ana Gasteyer), and Courtney Love (Molly Shannon), who were all snubbed for this year’s Oscar nominations.
Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Debbie Reynolds, Madonna, Courtney Love.
Montage
Chevy Chase’s MonologueSummary: Chevy Chase introduces his faux supportive family members.
Transcript
Home Security DecoysSummary: Bill Tasker (Mark McKinney) touts the menacing dummies that keep real criminals away.
Note: Repeat from: 10/19/96.
White House For SaleSummary: President Bill Clinton’s (Darrell Hammond) advisor (Chevy Chase) outlines the administration’s desperate fundraising ploys.
Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Bob Dole.
Transcript
O.J. Simpson Punitive and Compensatory Damages TelethonSummary: While emceeing his own telethon, O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) seems unfazed and surprised that donations aren’t just rolling in.
Recurring Characters: O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Harry Caray.
The CulpsSummary: Marty (Will Ferrell) & Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at their at niece’s Sweet 16 party.
Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.
Transcript
Smokey and the BanditSummary: Re-mastered in time for its 20th anniversary re-release, “Smokey (Darrell Hammond) and the Bandit (Norm MacDonald)” now includes a deleted scene featuring a truck-driving Yoda.
Recurring Characters: Burt Reynolds, Jerry Reed.
Transcript
Charlie RoseSummary: Goat Boy (Jim Breuer) and Cow-Man (Chase) square off on Charlie Rose’s (Mark McKinney) panel discussion.
Recurring Characters: Charlie Rose, Goat Boy, Leslie Abramson.
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Colin Quinn comments on the President Clinton/Paula Jones scandal.
Transcript
Live performs “Lakini’s Juice”
7 Action NewsSummary: News anchor Jeff Proctor (Chevy Chase) can’t stop himself from making up false stories.
The ZimmermansSummary: Josh (Chris Kattan) and Laura Zimmerman (Cheri Oteri) play First Date to liven up their traditional married life.
Recurring Characters: Josh Zimmerman, Laura Zimmerman.
Fitting RoomSummary: To a man’s (Norm MacDonald) chagrin, a janitor (Will Ferrell) and a store manager (Chevy Chase) peep on his wife (Molly Shannon) as she changes in a fitting room.
Live performs “Heropsychodreamer”
Chopper 4Summary: Mr. Caminetti (Chevy Chase) is vexed when news stand owner Andrew (Mark McKinney) can’t stop talking about Chopper 4.
Transcript
Goodnights
