Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 22: Episode 13
Smokey and the Bandit
The Bandit…..Norm MacDonald
Sheriff Buford T. Justice…..Darrell Hammond
[ open on image of outer space, as text scrolls upward ]
Announcer: “In 1977, a film was released that was so powerful, so revolutionary, it forever changed the way we looked at motion pictures. Now, twenty years later we are proud to announce the return of… Smokey and the Bandit.”[ dissolve to car chase clip from “Smokey and the Bandit”, over Jerry Reed’s “Eastbound and Down” ]
Announcer: Yes! The Bandit is back! and the smokeys are on his tail![ show image of The Bandit staring blanky and chewing as he drives his Corvette ] [ cut to The Snowman driving the rig and speaking into the CB radio ]
Snowman: Good buddy, I don’t know if we can get this Coors there on time, just doin’ a double nickel. Catch you on the flip side. 10-4!
Announcer: Bandit, may the force be with you — the police force of Texarkana, that is, led by the evil Buford T. Justice.[ cut to Buford T. Justice sitting behind the wheel as he speaks into his CB radio ]
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: This is Sheriff Buford T. Justice, you sumbitch![ show clip of Bandit hiding his Corvette within the convoy ]
Announcer: And look out for 14 digitally-restored minutes not shown in the original. Like this exciting scene:[ cut to Bandit behind the wheel of his Corvette with Snowman in the passenger seat ]
The Bandit: [ into CB radio ] Yeah, Breaker 1-9. This is, uh — the Bandit! [ chuckles ] Yeah, we’re gonna… need some help.[ cut to Yoda driving a truck ]
Yoda: [ into CB radio ] Help you, I will, yes. Come in, Bandit. You’ve got smokeys on your back door. Come on back.[ cut to title card ]
Announcer: “Smokey and the Bandit”. Relive the magic!