Barbara Walters Oscar Special
Barbara Walters…..Cheri Oteri
Cuba Gooding Jr…..Tim Meadows
Geoffrey Rush…..Mike Myers
Billy Bob Thornton…..Darrell Hammond
Barbara Walters: Good evening and welcome to my Oscar special. This will certainly go down in Oscar history as the year of the independent film.
The only major studio film being considered for Oscar stance is “Jerry Maguire”. And while he’s not from Cuba, he is Good… ding, at what he does, Jr. My first guest: Cuba Gooding Jr.
[cut to Barbara and Cuba sitting down for interview]Barbara Walters: Cuba?
Cuba Gooding Jr.: Yes, Barbara?
Barbara Walters: Sock it to me. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis? And now, Cuba Gooding Jr., show me the money!
Cuba Gooding Jr.: Yeah, that’s right. That’s from “Jerry Maguire”. Now, I’m really happy about the success.
Barbara Walters: And aren’t you happy that all of America loves saying “show me the money”?
Cuba Gooding Jr.: Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m happy, you know, to be moving on to other projects.
Barbara Walters: Ooh, did you ask your agent then to show you the money?
Cuba Gooding Jr.: Seriously, stop. Say that again and I’m gonna show you the door.
Barbara Walters: Well, apparently all of my phrases revolve around the phrase “show me the money” and since I’m unable to adlib, I’ll show myself out. On Oscar night, let’s hope the Academy shows you the Oscar!
Barbara Walters: You could say that the Academy has definitely taken a “Shine” to Geoffrey Rush. His powerful portrayal of piano prodigy David Helfgott is the premier Oscar pick. Some say Geoffrey Rush’s acting is so convincing that he should be up for an Oscar and a Grammy.
[cut to Barbara and Geoffrey’s interview]Barbara Walters: Geoffrey, I’m going to rush right into this. You, Geoffrey Rush, are Australian. Your character, David Helfgott, also Australian. Happy coincedence?
Geoffrey Rush: Australia-Australia-ha-ha! [indistinct talking] [gets up to feel Barbara’s breasts] [show “Sling Blade” movie poster]
Barbara Walters: My next guest is Billy Bob Thornton, whose touching portrayal in the movie “Sling Blade” has the critics buzzing. Horton may hear a who, but Thornton may hear a hooray on Oscar night. I caught up with Billy Bob in his shack behind his house somewhere in Arkansas.
[cut to Billy Bob and Barbara’s interview]Barbara Walters: Billy Bob, how were you able to create Karl, the simple yet misunderstood character who was completely like yourself?
Billy Bob Thornton: I reckon you could make me some French-fried potaters, mm-hmm.
Barbara Walters: Well, I’m not much of a cook, but I am hungry… for a genius named Billy Bob Thornton to show us his true self.
Billy Bob Thornton: I reckon you could show me the money!
Barbara Walters: Come on, Billy Bob, surely you can say something about being nominated for an Oscar?
Billy Bob Thornton: “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”
Thanks to Mike S. for this transcript!
