Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 22: Episode 17
Rob Lowe’s Monologue
Rob Lowe: Thanks! Thanks! God, it’s great to be back here! I mean, the last time that I hosted this show was back in 1990, and there was just so much going on then, that it turns out I left my diary here. Yeah. And today, one of the prop guys gave it back to me. So, now, I kept this diary all through the 1980’s, and I thought it might be fun if I took a look back to see what I was up to then. Shall we?
“June 4th, 1984. It’s my first day of shooting on “The Outsiders”. I’m working with these actors named Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon and Tom Cruise. Let me tell you, this pack of no-names is gonna be out of the business in five years. There is, however, this kid named C. Thomas Howell. I think we’ll be hearing big things from him. P.S.: Irene Cara broke up with me. She returned my Katrina & The Waves album, so that was good.”
“October 3rd, 1985. I’m in my trailer on the set of “St. Elmos’ Fire”, going over the script. If, in the next scene, Judd Nelson flips his collar up, I think I’m gonna flip mine up, too. I went to see U2 at Red Rocks. They have so much integrity, they’llnever sell out.”
“January 12th, 1986. I’m depressed, because last night at a Flock of Seagulls concert, Corey Hart spilled a Kamikazee on my parachute pants.”
“March 11th, 1986. I have been in bed for days, because Andrew McCarthy beat me out for the lead in the movie “Mannequin”. That movie is gonna be the next “Godfather”.”
“November 12th, 1986. I played ColecoVision all night with the Thompson Twins. I think one of them stole my Rubik’s Cube.”
“January 12th, 1987. Last night, I got in a fight with Salami from “The White Shadow”. I was gonna punch his face in, but then it got broken up by the keyboard player from Scritti Politti.”
“August, 1988. I’m at the Democratic National Convention. I’m on my way to the Youth For Dukakis Rally. It promises to be a night I’ll never forget.”
That’s all we have time for, I’m afraid. We have a great show tonight, the Spice Girls are here! We’ll be right back!