The Roxbury Guys
Steve Butabi…..Will Ferrell
Doug Butabi…..Chris Kattan
Club Owner…..Mark McKinney
Sexy Broad…..Pamela Lee
[ open on exterior, China Club, evening ]
[ interior, China Club. The crowd parts down the middle to reveal the twoRoxbury Guys bopping their heads at the bar. They turn around, beer bottlesin mouthes, to check out the ladies in the club. ]
Music: “What is Love”, Haddaway.
Doug Butabi: [ jumps to the front of the crowd ] Heeeey! Wanna dance?No? [ returns to the bar ]
Steve Butabi: [ jumps to the front of the crowd ] Hey, you wannadance? You and me? No? [ returns to the bar ] [ suddenly, the music stops and the lights go out, bringing down the RoxburyGuys’ evening ]
Club Owner: [ jumping in front of the crowd ] Sorry, the power wentout. We’ll get it back in a second, alright?[ the Roxbury Guys stand alone at the bar and try to make adjustments tothe sudden loss of power ]
Steve Butabi: [ making a weak attempt at communication with hisbrother ] It’s too bad the.. uh.. power went out. I really like that song.
Doug Butabi: Yeah, that’s a good song..
Steve Butabi: Soooo.. uh.. it’s fun going to clubs with you.
Doug Butabi: Yeah. It’s fun.
Steve Butabi: Music’s good.. because it helps people fill in thoseawkward silences. [ pause. Steve shakes his head to the music that’s notthere ]
Doug Butabi: [ holding his hand up ] No, no, no – not yet.[ suddenly, the music starts again, and the boys are back in business,especially when they notice a Sexy Broad dancing in front of the bar. Makingup for lost time, they jump to either side of her and bop her from side toside until she is able to get loose and run out the bar. Naturally, ourheroes stay in close pursuit. ] [ cut to interior, Roxbury-mobile. The Roxbury Guys flip out their cellphones to make a unified call. In the next lane, we see the Sexy Broadchecking her make-up in her rearview mirror as her cell phone rings. ]
Sexy Broad: Hello?
Roxbury Guys: He-e-ey!! [ wave ] [ looking over and noticing who it is, the Sexy Broad flings her cell phoneat the Roxbury Guys’ car, smashing their windshield and causing them to spinout of control for a second or two. ] [ cut to exterior, New York Sports Club ] [ interior, New York Sports Club. The Sexy Broad is working out on arunning machine, only to discover the Roxbury Guys running along on eitherside of her. To get rid of them, she turns up the speed on their runningmachines and sends them flying back against the wall ] [ cut to interior, Sauna. Woman are wrapped in towles and enjoying a goodsweat. The camera pans left to reveal the Roxbury Guys fully dressed intheir club clothes with towels wrapped around themselves. The Sexy Broadwalks in, but doesn’t notice them ]
Doug Butabi: He-e-eyy!
Steve Butabi: What’s up?
Doug Butabi: It’s good to see ya![ the Sexy Broad pulls off their towels, making them jump up in fear ]
Steve Butabi: No!
Doug Butabi: Oh, it’s too hot![ the Roxbury Guys run out of the Sauna ] [ cut to interior, Jacuzzi Room, where the Sexy Broad is enjoying a goodsoak. Suddenly, the Roxbury Guys emerge from beneath the water ]
Steve Butabi: What’s up?
Doug Butabi: What’s going on?[ the Sexy Broad jumps up and runs out of the jacuzzi. Obviously, theRoxbury Guys will continue their pursuit for the remainder of the night ]