Delicious Dish


Delicious Dish

Margaret Jo McCullen…..Ana Gasteyer
Teri Rialto…..Molly Shannon
“Fireball”…..John Goodman

Margaret Jo McCullen: Hello. I’m Margaret Jo McCulen.

Teri Rialto: And I’m Teri Rialto.

Margaret Jo McCullen: And you’re listening to..

Together: “The Delicious Dish”, on National Public Radio.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Now, Teri, the days are getting longer, and the mercury is rising.

Teri Rialto: It sure is, Margaret Jo. And that cna only mean one thing.

Together: Summer.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Now.. one of my favorite things about summer is that you can have your meals outside.

Teri Rialto: That is neat.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Yeah. It’s fun. It’s warm. It’s warm outside.

Teri Rialto: Yeah. Summer’s my favorite season.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Same here. Because it’s hotter than the rest of the year.

Teri Rialto: It sure is.

Margaret Jo McCullen: It’s fun, isn’t it?

Teri Rialto: It’s neat.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Fun.

Teri Rialto: Good times. Now, we have some exciting ideas on how to keep cool during these summer months.

Margaret Jo McCullen: That’s right, Teri. One of my favoritesummer treats is a nice tall glass of soda water.

Teri Rialto: Mmm.. me, too. Sometimes, to keep things interesting, I like to add a little bit of ice.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Thanks for bringing that up.

Teri Rialto: You’re welcome.

Margaret Jo McCullen: I see your point.

Teri Rialto: Thank you. And, actually, I don’t know if you noticed, there are many different kinds of ice.

Margaret Jo McCullen: You’re absolutely right. There’s cubed ice.

Teri Rialto: Crushed ice.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Cracked ice.

Teri Rialto: Shaved ice.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Shaved ice? I didn’t know ice could growa beard!

[ they laugh ]

Teri Rialto: That’s funny! Did you just think of that right now?

Margaret Jo McCullen: No, I thought of it last night and wrote it down.

Teri Rialto: You’re very funny.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Thanks.

Teri Rialto: You’re so fun to be around.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Thanks, so are you. It’s fun being with you.

Teri Rialto: You’re welcome. But you know, Margaret Jo, you could soda water all you want, but it still wouldn’t be summer without one thing.

Together: Cookouts.

Margaret Jo McCullen: That’s right. We’re so thrilled to have our special guest with us today.

Teri Rialto: I feel really thrilled.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Me, too. He’s the two-time winner of theGreat American Chili Cookoff, and his spicy five-alarm chili recipes are all I need to get my bronco bucking.

Teri Rialto: So please welcome – Rusty “Fireball” Wilson. Thanks for coming, “Fireball”.

“Fireball”: You’re sure welcome. Wow. I’m really fired up to be here.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Well, “Fireball”, talking to you is justlike being out on the old West.

Teri Rialto: Tell us, “Fireball”, what is your recipe for anunforgettable summer cookout?

“Fireball”: Well, you know I’m gonna hurt my book sales for telling you this.. but there are three critical ingredients for an authentic summer barbecue. You might want to grab a pen for this. They are: meat, bread, and sauce.

Teri Rialto: You might want to say that again, in case our listeners didn’t have a chance to get a pen.

Margaret Jo McCullen: That’s a good idea.

“Fireball”: Sure. Meat. [ pause ] Bread. [ pause ] And sauce.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Wow. My stomach’s really starting to growl.

“Fireball”: Well, when all of it is said and done, no single element of a barbecue can get your mouth watering like a clean grill.

Margaret Jo McCullen: I’ll be darned.

Teri Rialto: I guess that’s why you’re the expert.

“Fireball”: Yeah. You should always clean your grill. A wirebrush is a good thing to use.

Margaret Jo McCullen: I don’t mean to rock your boat, “Fireball”, but what about using an S.O.S. pad.

“Fireball”: [ thinking ] Shoot, I should have put that in my book.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Thanks!

Teri Rialto: You know, “Fireball”, I’ll bet there’s a world offacts about grills.

“Fireball”: Oh, there sure is. Did you know that the first gasgrill was invented in 1934.

Teri Rialto: Yes, I did.

Margaret Jo McCullen: By Captain Carl Heinrick of Belgium.
“Fireball”: Bingo.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Hey, look, we have a call!

“Fireball”: That’s exciting.

Together: “Delicious Dish”, you’re on the air!

Caller: Yeah, hi. I’m a big fan of the show.. but let me get this straight – are you guys talking about cooking food outside?

Teri Rialto: Yes, that’s what we’re talking about.

Caller: But I mean, there’s birds and rain outside. Who knowswhat could happen.

Margaret Jo McCullen: You’re right.. but, likewise, cookouts can be pretty unpredictable.

Caller: Okay. So, here’s my question: could I cook my foodinside, while I look out the window?

Teri Rialto: Uh.. tht’s not a problem for us. “Fireball”?

“Fireball”: Fine by me – only, in that case, you should call ita “cook-in”.

[ they laugh ]

Teri Rialto: That’s funny! You.. you should be on “Carson”!

“Fireball”: I almsot was.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Well, uh.. thank you for calling.
Teri Rialto: Thanks for calling!

Margaret Jo McCullen: Uh-oh, Teri, we’ve done it again – we’re out of time.

Teri Rialto: Oh, that’s too bad.

Margaret Jo McCullen: Well, join us tomorrow on “Delicious Dish”, when our topic will be..

Together: Eggs.

“Fireball”: I had a good time.

Teri Rialto: Me, too.

“Fireball”: I hope I ddin’t ruin your show.

Margaret Jo McCullen: No, you didn’t. It was really fun for us..

[ fade out ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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