Space: The Infinite Frontier
Harry Caray…..Will Ferrell
Dr. Ken Waller…..Jeff Goldblum
Station Manager…..Mark McKinney
Announcer: From the outer most reaches of the universe, to the inner most planets of our solar syatem, This is “Space The Infinite Frontier” with your host Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray.
Harry Caray: Hi everybody Harry Caray here, and welcome to Space The Infinite Frontier. We’ve got a great show lined up for ya, joining us in the studio today all the way from Cal-Tech is astrophysicist Dr. Ken Waller. Welcome to the show Ken.
Dr. Ken Waller: Thank You! It’s nice to be here.
Harry Caray: Now Dr. recently they discovered that there might be life on one of the moons of Jupiter. Now that’s gotta be exciting for ya.
Dr. Ken Waller: Oh yes Harry were thrilled to discover that there theoretically life could exist below the surface of planets due to the heat caused by volcanic activity.
Harry Caray: That’s something else. Let me ask what’s your favorite planet.
Dr. Ken Waller: Well, I don’t have a favorite. I find them all fascinating there all a part of a-
Harry Caray: Mine’s the sun. Always has been. I like it because it’s like the king of planets.
Dr. Ken Waller: Well, Actually Harry it’s not a planet it’s a star.
Harry Caray: Well! Planet or starwhen that thing burns out were all gonna be dead.
Dr. Ken Waller: Well that’s true but it’s not gonna burn out for a very long time.
Harry Caray: I hope not. Dr. have you ever seen an eclipse.
Dr. Ken Waller: Ah! Yeah I’ve seen many.
Harry Caray: You know if you stare at it head on it’ll burn your eyes out.
Dr. Ken Waller: Well it’s not best to stare at the sun in an eclipse.
Harry Caray: Well it’s hard not to. I once took a pair of binoculars and stared at the sun for over a hour.
Dr. Ken Waller: Why would you do that?
Harry Caray: Curiosity I guess. Heck I’m curious as a cat. I have a couple of friends that call me whiskers.
Dr. Ken Waller: Because your curious like a cat.
Harry Caray: Yes! Hey! Now Ken we all know thta the moon is noty made of green cheese.
Dr. Ken Waller: Yes! That’s true Harry.
Harry Caray: But what if it were made of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it then.
Dr. Ken Waller: What!
Harry Caray: I know I would. Heck I’d have seconds. Then polish it off with a tall cool budweiser. I would do it.
Dr. Ken Waller: Yeah!
Harry Caray: Would you.
Dr. Ken Waller: I’m confused.
Harry Caray: It’s a simple question. Would you eat the monon if it were made of ribs.
Dr. Ken Waller: I don’t know how to answer that.
Harry Caray: It’s not rocket science. Just say yes ans will move on.
Dr. Ken Waller: Yes!
Harry Caray: Hey! How bout this mad cow disease.
Dr. Ken Waller: What about it.
Harry Caray: Well it was here for a while then it went away.
Dr. Ken Waller: Yes! Yes! it was in the news for a while then it disappeared.
Harry Caray: Good point! I hpe I never get it. Hey! What about this. If you had the choice of being the top scientist in your field or getting mad cow disease what would it be.
Dr. Ken Waller: well! Of course I would choose to be the the top scientist in my field.
Harry Caray: Oh good! I was worried you’d choose mad cow.
Dr. Ken Waller: Why would you think that.
Harry Caray: I don’t know I’m just a worrier I guess. That’s why my friends call me whiskers.
Dr. Ken Waller: I thought you said your friends call you Whiskers cause you’re curious as a cat.
Harry Caray: Well Dr. Waller it has been a pleasure. We’ve covered a lot of ground and shared a few laughs thanks for coming on.
Dr. Ken Waller: My pleasure.
Harry Caray: He’s a good kid. That’s all the time we he have join us next week with our guest Albert Einstein.
(Station manager whispers into Harry Caray’s ear)
Harry Caray: What! Well apparently Albert Einstein died 42 years ago. You know what, we’ll try to get him anyway. See you next time. Cubs win! Cubs win!
Thanks to Charles Spivey for this transcript!
Did I find this post useful? Heck yes. I’m reading to myself in the voices at 11 pm thinking, this is gonna be great in my ESOL class about the moon. As a teen I would recite this with my friends over and over.