SNL Transcripts: Brendan Fraser: 10/18/97: Lemon Glow


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 23: Episode 3

97c: Brendan Fraser / Bjork

Lemon Glow

Housewife…..Molly Shannon
Husband…..Darrell Hammond

[ open on Housewife entering suburban kitchen ]

Housewife: I love my family, but cleaning up after them can be a full-time job. That’s when I reach for Lemon Glow.

[ Music Over: “Lemon Tree” ]

Housewife: Only ten years ago, a clean kitchen was the last thing on my mind. I was sleeping in doorways and unlocked cars, and I had a pretty nasty speed habit. Hell, back then I’d do anyone who owned a motorcycle. I remember this one time in.. 1983 – I was going out with Frank. We got into a vicious fight because I made out with this Puerto Rican guy at the OTB. So I cut him with a broken ashtray.

[ admiring floor ] Wow! Look at that shine!

That night, while he was sleeping, I shot his dog and burned his house on fire. I never did find out if he woke up or not. And then after shacking up with Iggy Pop for a month, I met Ted.

Husband: [ entering kitchen ] Hey!

Housewife: [ surprised ] Hi! [ to camera ] To be honest, this whole family thing started out as a con. I was going to play Ted like a punk and sell his telescope for pot. But with Lemon Glow on my side, I think I’ll stay.

Announcer: Lemon Glow. For the home you weren’t sure you wanted.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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