SNL Transcripts: Brendan Fraser: 10/18/97: Brendan Fraser’s Monologue


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  Season 23: Episode 3



97c: Brendan Fraser / Bjork

Brendan Fraser’s Monologue

…..Brendan Fraser

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen.. Brendan Fraser!

[ Brendan Fraser swings onto Home Base from a vine, like George of the Jungle ]

Brendan Fraser: Thanks! Thank you! [ audience cheers wildly ] Hello, everyone! [ grunts like a gorilla ] Oh, it’s great to be here! Did you have a good summer? I had a good summer – goofing around in this movie, “George of the Jungle.” Thank you, thank you. You know, it’s funny – people come up to me now and say, “Hey, George!” Or.. “You’re that guy, George.” Or.. “Hey! It’s fifty bucks for a table dance – George! I mean, it’s great. But not that many people get to know the real Brendan Fraser, and that’s why I thought it would be nice for you to get to know the real me. Know the things that Brendan really likes.

[ soft piano music pots up ]

I like, um.. the tender love of a good woman.

I like donating my time to charities.

I like milk.

I like slacks that come with a built-in belt.

I like taking long walks on the beach holding a shotgun that has my nickname scratched into it – “Real Cool Guy.”

I like watching “Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo.” With the sound turned off.

I like standing outside “The Today Show” and licking the window.

I like that my internet name is “Frendan Braser”, and nobody knows that it’s me! [ laughs slyly ]

I like referring to couches as Davenports.

I like pretending blueberry Kool-Aid is Windex, and making believe I’ve been poisoned!

I like being the king of my world, especially that two-acre world I made out of oatmeal and popsicle sticks.

I like you. A lot. Really. Do you want to hang out some time? If you do, then just check the Yes box.

[ Yes and No boxes appear on the screen ]

And, if oyu don’t, then check the No box. [ quickly ] I like the Yes box.

I like scrambled eggs made of love.

I like tonight’s musical guest – Bjork.

[ audience applauds ]

And I like that we have a great show tonight!

But what I really like is saying, “Stick around, we’ll be right back!” So.. stick around, we’ll be right back!

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