SNL Transcripts: Brendan Fraser: 10/18/97: Brendan Fraser’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 23: Episode 3

97c: Brendan Fraser / Bjork

Brendan Fraser’s Monologue

…..Brendan Fraser

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen.. Brendan Fraser!

[ Brendan Fraser swings onto Home Base from a vine, like George of the Jungle ]

Brendan Fraser: Thanks! Thank you! [ audience cheers wildly ] Hello, everyone! [ grunts like a gorilla ] Oh, it’s great to be here! Did you have a good summer? I had a good summer – goofing around in this movie, “George of the Jungle.” Thank you, thank you. You know, it’s funny – people come up to me now and say, “Hey, George!” Or.. “You’re that guy, George.” Or.. “Hey! It’s fifty bucks for a table dance – George! I mean, it’s great. But not that many people get to know the real Brendan Fraser, and that’s why I thought it would be nice for you to get to know the real me. Know the things that Brendan really likes.

[ soft piano music pots up ]

I like, um.. the tender love of a good woman.

I like donating my time to charities.

I like milk.

I like slacks that come with a built-in belt.

I like taking long walks on the beach holding a shotgun that has my nickname scratched into it – “Real Cool Guy.”

I like watching “Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo.” With the sound turned off.

I like standing outside “The Today Show” and licking the window.

I like that my internet name is “Frendan Braser”, and nobody knows that it’s me! [ laughs slyly ]

I like referring to couches as Davenports.

I like pretending blueberry Kool-Aid is Windex, and making believe I’ve been poisoned!

I like being the king of my world, especially that two-acre world I made out of oatmeal and popsicle sticks.

I like you. A lot. Really. Do you want to hang out some time? If you do, then just check the Yes box.

[ Yes and No boxes appear on the screen ]

And, if oyu don’t, then check the No box. [ quickly ] I like the Yes box.

I like scrambled eggs made of love.

I like tonight’s musical guest – Bjork.

[ audience applauds ]

And I like that we have a great show tonight!

But what I really like is saying, “Stick around, we’ll be right back!” So.. stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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