SNL Transcripts: Chris Farley: 10/25/97: Bocephus


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 23: Episode 4

97d: Chris Farley / The Mighty Mighty Bosstones


Sax Player…..Lenny Pickett
Technician #1…..Will Ferrell
Technician #2…..Tim Meadows
Agent…..Ana Gasteyer
Hank Williams, Jr…..Chris Farley
Jack…..Colin Quinn

[ open on Sax Player finishing his session in a recording studio ]

Technician #1: Aaaand that’s a keeper. Yeah.

Technician #2: Hey, Paul, that was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Sax Player: Thanks, guys. [ exits ]

Technician #2: You know, I mean, that was a pleasure.

Technician #1: Absolutely.

Technician #2: Yeah. Well, who’s next on the schedule?

Technician #1: Uh, let’s see.. [ looks at clipboard ] Hank Williams, Jr.

Technician #2: [ glumly ] Oh.

[ Hank Williams, Jr., drinking heavily, enters recording studio with his agent and a wide-grinning cowboy type ]

Hank Williams, Jr.: [ yelling ] Are you ready for some footBAAAAAALL!!! [ laughs uproariously ]

Technician #2: Good Lord.

Technician #1: You must be, uh.. Hank Williams, Jr.?

Hank Williams, Jr.: Please, call me Bocephus!

Technician #1: Allllright.. Bocephus. Uh.. why don’t you get your gear and set up. We’re scheduled to record the different team match-ups for the Monday Night Football theme song.

Hank Williams, Jr.: [ singing ] “All my rowdy friends are comin’ over tonight!” Ha ha ha!

Technician #1: We haven’t started recording yet, so.. don’t do that.

Agent: [ enters the booth ] He’s a real talent.

Technician #1: Yeah. Well, I’ll have to take your word on that.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Well, fellas, uh.. have you met my friend Jack?

Technician #1: No. Nice to meet you.

Hank Williams, Jr.: No, no, no! I mean this friend – the bottle! [ holds up bottle, laughs, then points to the man standing behind him ] His name’s Jack, too, as a matter of fact.

Technician #1: That’s great. Uh.. now, let’s get some levels.

Technician #2: Uh, Mr. Williams, uh.. does that man have to be in there with you?

Hank Williams, Jr.: He’s my rowdy friend – “He’s comin’ over tonight!” Ha ha ha, yeah!

Technician #1: That’s great, Mr. Williams.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Please, call me Bocephus!

Technician #1: Okay. Bocephus. Uh. let’s get some levels.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Alright, alright. “Are you ready for some foot-ball!! [ laughs uproariously ]

Technician #2: Yeah, that sounds great.

Hank Williams, Jr.: “Are you ready for some foot-ball!! [ laughs uproariously ]

Technician #1: We got the levels.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Alright. I’m sorry. I thouht you said do it agin.

Technician #1: That’s okay, Bocephus.

Technician #2: Okay, now, Mr. Williams, uh.. the first teams up are the Patriots and the Vikings.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Alright, alright, I got it right here on the card.

Technician #1: And, uh.. you don’t have to sing the whole song, we can just insert the teams into the master.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Well, I can’t get the Bocephus juices flowin’ unless I say.. “Are you ready for the fooot-baaaaaallll!!

Technician #1: Well.. maybe we don’t want to get the Bocephus juices flowing, okay? Uh, so just sing the pairings.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Alright, alright, whatever you say.

Agent: Isn’t he wonderful?

Technician #2: No.

Technician #1: Ready whenever you are.

[ Background music pots up ]

Hank Williams, Jr.: [ scream-singing ]“Patriots and The Vikings comin’ over tonight!
Eagles and the Raiders comin’ over tonight!
Bengals and the Ravens comin’ over tonight!”
[ laughs uproariously as the music stops ]

Technician #1: Aaand.. that was great. Let’s get out of here.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Ohhh, hold on here just a second here — [ Jack prods him ] I know, Jack, I know, Jack. My buddy Jack here really thinks I sould sing the whole song.

Technician #1: Yeah, well isn’t there a barn somewhere Jack should be sniffing glue in?

[ the technicians laugh uproariously ]

Technician #2: Uh, yeah. Someone should tell Jack they’re taping “Hee Haw” three doors down!

Hank Williams, Jr.: Hey, that ain’t cool. Why you guys makin’ fun of us?

Technician #2: Uh, because you suck!

Technician #1: Yes!

[ the technicians laugh uproariously ]

Hank Williams, Jr.: Listen, man.. I sing music for working people. I know it ain’t the most sophisticated stuff in the world, but.. it comes from the heart.

Technician #1: We didn’t mean to.. make fun of you —

Hank Williams, Jr.: Yeah, yeah you did. And I understand. We must look pretty ridiculous to you folks. The truth is, people like us don’t have many role models. My career’s important to many people.

Jack: Before I heard Bocephus music.. I thought I was alone in the world.

Agent: My teenage boy was getting into trouble. Bocephus’ music taught him to be a man.

Hank Williams, Jr.: That’s all I’m tryin’ to do, in my own kinda awkward way is.. bring people together.

Technician #2: You know, you guys are alright.

[ light piano music pots up ]

Technician #1: [ singing ] “Are you read-y for the foot-ball?”

All: “All my rowd-y friends are com-in’ o-ver to-night.”

Agent: “All my rowd-y friends are com-ing o-ver to-night.”

Hank Williams, Jr.:
“Love and friend-ship are playin’ tonight
Are you read-y for the foooot-baaaall?”

All: “Yes! We’re read-y for the foot-baaaaaaaaaallll.”

[ music fades ]

Technician #1: I think that’s a keeper.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Yeah. [ looks into the camera ] Remember: no matter how dirtbaggy anyone seems.. underneath it all, they’ve still got a heart. I should know. I’m Bocephus. [ turns to Jack ] C’mon, Jack!

[ Bocephus and Jack exit recording studio, to fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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