Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 23: Episode 4
El Nino…..Chris Farley
Ric Flair…..Jim Breuer
Anchor: Welcome to “WeatherScope”. The biggest news this season, undoubtedly, the huge mass of warm Pacific water known as El Nino. Though it has caused torrential downpours in the Pacific region, El Nino has also dominated many tropical storms, preventing them from becoming hurricanes. In a dramatic development, the Weather Channel has captured the following satellite images of the mysterious phenomenon known as.. El Nino.[ cut to El Nino standing in front of huge winds delivering his pitch in the style of a professional wrestler ]
El Nino: I am El Nino! All other tropical storms must bow before El Nino! Yo soy El Nino! For those of you who don’t “habla Espanol”, El Nino is Spanish for.. The Nino! To any of you hurricanes who are listening, step on up! Because nobody can take El Nino! I challenge any of you punk-ass tropical storms to a no-holds barred cage match! Any time! Any coast! I swear to God all Mighty it is time to pay the piper, ’cause El Nino’s coming for ya! And it ain’t gonna be pretty![ cut back to Anchor in the studio ]
Anchor: Obviously, El Nino issuing a challenge to all comers. Let’s hear now from expert meteorologist and intercontinental Wrestling Federation champion, Ric Flair. El Nino, has some pretty strong words there, Rick, it looks like he’s after you belt.[ cut to Ric Flair rebutting El Nino’s challenge ]
Ric Flair: El Nino, I’ve got one thing to say to you, brother! You may dominate weather fronts all along the Eastern seaboard brother, but you wouldn’t last two seconds against me and Junkyard Dog, Nino! I don’t speak Spanish, but I’m coming to your burrito to kick your butt-o, pal! Yeah, that’s right!
Anchor: Ric Flair has applied the sleeper hold to El Nino! It’s unbelievable! Ric Flair has subdued the powerful weather phenomenon known as El Nino! I think you can look for a return to colder weather and more storms in the Great Lakes region.
Announcer: November 3rd, watch WWF action when Hacksaw Jim Doogan takes on the Santa Ana Wind at the Indiana State Fairgrounds!