SNL Transcripts: Mayor Rudolph Giuliani: 11/22/97: Graffiti


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 23: Episode 7

97g: Mayor Rudolph Giuliani / Sarah McLachlan


…..Mayor Rudolph Giuliani

Mayor Rudolph Guiliani: We’ve brought New York a long way in the past few years, but there’s still a lot to be done. One of the things we won’t tolerate any more is grafitti. We got it off the subway, but there’s still a lot of idiots out there who are trying to turn our streets into an eyesore. So, this time, we’re getting tough!

From now on, every time you write your name in grafitti on public property, we’re going to put the word “Sucks” right under it. That’s right. Instead of being Mr. Cool, everyone’s going to think you suck. Our trained staff of police artists will make it look like you wrote it.

For two-time offenders, we’re going to put “Sucks Big Time“. Think how embarrassed you’ll be when your friends see your name that way. I know I’d be.

So, the next time you think about defacing public property, think about this. In your face, punk!

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 1 / 5. Vote count: 1

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x