Joan Rivers’ 1997 Fashion Wrap-Up


Joan Rivers’ 1997 Fashion Wrap-Up

Melissa Rivers…..Cheri Oteri
Isaac Mizrahi…..Darrell Hammond
Jodie Foster…..Helen Hunt

It’s Joan Rivers’ 1997 Fashion Wrap-Up, with a skeletal Joan Riversand special guests Melissa Rivers, Isaac Mizrahi and Jodie Foster:

Melissa Rivers: 1997 is drawing to a close. Speaking of clothes, Mom, we’re going to take a look at what famous people wore this year, and whether we thought it was the good, the bad..

Joan Rivers: ..or the Cybil Shepherd! Ow! What a pig! Who’s first?

Melissa Rivers: Mom, first we have Kirstie Alley.

[ graphic of Kirstie Alley in a purple dress ]

Joan Rivers: Disgusting! She’s disgusting! Isaac?

Isaac Mizrahi: Oh, my God! It looks like Mae West meets Grimace. Take it away, take it away!

Joan Rivers: Jodie?

Jodie Foster: I don’t feel that I am in a position to judge someone else.

Joan Rivers: Everyone is in a position to judge someone else! Next!

Melissa Rivers: Okay, Mom, next up is “Melrose Place” star Lisa Rinna.. [ graphic of Lisa Rinna ] ..shown here in a half-slip gown.

Joan Rivers: Whore! She should be shot in the face!

Jodie Foster: [ appalled ] What kind of statement is that? It’s just a dress.

Joan Rivers: Isaac?

Isaac Mizrahi: She should be shot in the face, yes!
Joan Rivers: Next!

Melissa Rivers: Okay, Mom. Next, we have Janene Garofalo.. [ graphic of Janene Garofalo ] ..shown here in a pair of ski boots and a Hefty bag.

Joan Rivers: Agghh! Ow! Look at those shoes! I’d like to set her on fire and burn her until she was dead!

Jodie Foster: [ disgusted ] That’s completely inappropriate.

Isaac Mizrahi: Oh! She should be mauled by bears!

Jodie Foster: I don’t understand your reaction. I find her to be articulate and very well-informed.

Melissa Rivers: [ angry ] I want to be in a movie.

Joan Rivers: Melissa wanted to be in “The Truth About Cats & Dogs”. I got her an audition, but she didn’t get the movie.

Melissa Rivers: [ angry ] I wanted to be in “The Truth About Cats & Dogs”, Mom!

Jodie Foster: Well, that’s no reason to hate Janene Garofalo.

Isaac Mizrahi: She should be shot in the face.

Joan Rivers: [ frantic ] I ruined my life. Why did I piss off Johnny Carson? Why? Whyyyyyyyy?!!

Melissa Rivers: Well, that’s our year-end wrap-up, Mom. Thank you to all our guests. We’ll be back in January with out new show: “Who’s the Fattest Pig?”

Joan Rivers: This is Joan Rivers saying, “You can never be too fat – or too thin!” [ her skull pops off ] [ Melissa retrieves Joan’s skull and tries to replace it as the scene fades to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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