The Celine Dion Show


The Celine Dion Show

Celine Dion…..Ana Gasteyer
Shania Twain…..Molly Shannon
Mariah Carey…..Cheri Oteri
Gloria Estefan…..Matthew Broderick

Celine Dion Voiceover: Eh, I am French-Canadian, I am really skinny, and guess what: I am the best singer in the world! Welcome to my show!

Celine Dion: Okay! It’s time to bring my next guests out. They are my beautiful, best friends, from my VH-1 Diva concert! Please welcome country music sensation, Shanna Twain! Oh, Shanna! [ Shania Twain steps out ] The magnificant Mariah Carey! Mariah! [ Mariah Carey steps out ] And, the Cuban dynamo, Gloria Estefan! Gloria! [ Gloria Estefan steps out ] Oh! Oh, girl, it was so nice to have you on VH- Diva Live, when I blew the roof off the mother!

You look very good for a woman who has had a bus accident, and a boat accident!

Gloria Estefan: Thanks.

Celine Dion: Would you do me the honor of singing me one of your best song now?

Gloria Estefan: No. [ shakes head ]

Celine Dion: Please?

Gloria Estefan: no, no, no. Look, I know what you’re gonna do, okay? I’m gonna start to sing, and then you’re gonna get up and act like an ass, and drown me out.

Celine Dion: No.. Oh, no, Gloria, I won’t, I swear to my God! Please, do not deprive this lovely audience of your beautiful gift.

Gloria Estefan: [ suckered in ] Alright. [ stands and sings “Conga” ]“Come on, shake your body baby,
do the conga
I know you can’t control yourself any longer!”

[ Celine jumps in ]

Celine Dion: [ singing ]“I know you can’t control yourself any longer
Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger
Ole! Ole! Ole!”

[ stops suddenly ] Oh. Oh. Get the rhythm of the beat.

Gloria Estefan: Hey, Celine! You promised!

Celine Dion: Oh, I’m so sorry! If I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d think I was a showoff!

Gloria Estefan: You’re a freak!

Shania Twain: Yea-ah. You know, you’re crazy, Celine!

Mariah Carey: Yeah, you know what? I don’t have to take this – I’m going out with a Yankee shortshop. [ shakes her booty, and exits stage, Shania and Gloria follow ]

Celine Dion: Please! Don’t be jealous of me! [ piano music plays, lights dim ] I wasn’t always this lucky. There was a time when I had so many ear infections, the kid in the town would call me “Ugly, Retarded Girl”! But now, I am the best singer in the world. And now I will sing the best song in the world! [ stands and sings ]

“Once more, you opened the do-oo-oo-oorr!”

[ fade out ]

Note: This sketch was transcribed, by request, from the VH-1 SNL Music Anniversary Special, which was greatly edited. If anyone has this sketch on tape and could provide the rest of the dialogue, please e-mail me at Thanks!

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x