SNL Transcripts: Lucy Lawless: 10/17/98


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 24: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 17th, 1998

Lucy Lawless

Elliot Smith


Tina Fey

Paula Pell

Judge Judy Sheindlin
NBC News Special ReportSummary: Arrogant Republicans Henry Hyde (Will Ferrell), Jesse Helms (Darrell Hammond) and Mary Bono (Cheri Oteri) vex America and falunt their inpenetrability.

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Henry Hyde, Jesse Helms.



Lucy Lawless’ MonologueSummary: Audience members think Lucy Lawless and “Xena: Warrior Princess” are lesbians.


Shirt In A CanSummary: Another stained shirt. Dammit! A can of spray paint will solve your wardrobe problems.

Judge JudySummary: Judge Judy (Cheri Oteri) hears the case of a stripper clown (Lucy Lawless) before the real Judy Sheindlin interrupts the proceedings.

Recurring Characters: Judge Judy, Burt.


The History of Presidential Scandal ISummary: Andrew Johnson slept with a bird.


MSNBC: White House In CrisisSummary: Female MSNBC reporters treat the Clinton scandal with a slumber party mentality.


TV FunhouseSummary:Despite their animosity toward one another, Howard Stern and “Saturday Night Live” are a ratings success when bred together in Rob Smigel’s “Fun With Real Audio” segment.

Stevie Nicks’ Fajita RoundupSummary: Stevie Nicks (Lucy Lawless) sings fajita-themed parodies of her popular songs to promote her new restaurant.


The How Do You Say, Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Sexy Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan) chats with the author of a book on Lyme Disease (Lucy Lawless).

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas.


The History of Presidential Scandal IISummary: Lyndon B. Johnson’s whores had a special nickname for him.


Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Colin Quinn is nearly stabbed twice by Chucky the murderous doll, who pretends to deliver serious commentaries on the Clinton scandal and the World Series.


Elliot Smith performs “Waltz #2”

BiographySummary: Drunken Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) narrates a biography on the life of Puff Daddy (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: Jack Perkins, Puff Daddy.

Terrance MaddoxSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Terrance Maddox.


Goth TalkSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Circe Nightshade, Azrael Abyss.

The CulpsSummary: Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at the World Series.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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