SNL Transcripts: Lucy Lawless: 10/17/98



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 3


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 17th, 1998

Lucy Lawless

Elliot Smith

None

Tina Fey

Paula Pell

Judge Judy Sheindlin
NBC News Special ReportSummary: Arrogant Republicans Henry Hyde (Will Ferrell), Jesse Helms (Darrell Hammond) and Mary Bono (Cheri Oteri) vex America and falunt their inpenetrability.

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Henry Hyde, Jesse Helms.

Transcript

Montage

Lucy Lawless’ MonologueSummary: Audience members think Lucy Lawless and “Xena: Warrior Princess” are lesbians.

Transcript

Shirt In A CanSummary: Another stained shirt. Dammit! A can of spray paint will solve your wardrobe problems.

Judge JudySummary: Judge Judy (Cheri Oteri) hears the case of a stripper clown (Lucy Lawless) before the real Judy Sheindlin interrupts the proceedings.

Recurring Characters: Judge Judy, Burt.

Transcript

The History of Presidential Scandal ISummary: Andrew Johnson slept with a bird.

Transcript

MSNBC: White House In CrisisSummary: Female MSNBC reporters treat the Clinton scandal with a slumber party mentality.

Transcript

TV FunhouseSummary:Despite their animosity toward one another, Howard Stern and “Saturday Night Live” are a ratings success when bred together in Rob Smigel’s “Fun With Real Audio” segment.

Stevie Nicks’ Fajita RoundupSummary: Stevie Nicks (Lucy Lawless) sings fajita-themed parodies of her popular songs to promote her new restaurant.

Transcript

The How Do You Say, Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Sexy Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan) chats with the author of a book on Lyme Disease (Lucy Lawless).

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas.

Transcript

The History of Presidential Scandal IISummary: Lyndon B. Johnson’s whores had a special nickname for him.

Transcript

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Colin Quinn is nearly stabbed twice by Chucky the murderous doll, who pretends to deliver serious commentaries on the Clinton scandal and the World Series.

Transcript

Elliot Smith performs “Waltz #2”

BiographySummary: Drunken Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) narrates a biography on the life of Puff Daddy (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: Jack Perkins, Puff Daddy.

Terrance MaddoxSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Terrance Maddox.

Transcript

Goth TalkSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Circe Nightshade, Azrael Abyss.

The CulpsSummary: Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at the World Series.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.

GoodnightsTranscript

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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