SNL Transcripts: Lucy Lawless: 10/17/98



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 3


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 17th, 1998

Lucy Lawless

Elliot Smith

None

Tina Fey

Paula Pell

Judge Judy Sheindlin
NBC News Special ReportSummary: Arrogant Republicans Henry Hyde (Will Ferrell), Jesse Helms (Darrell Hammond) and Mary Bono (Cheri Oteri) vex America and falunt their inpenetrability.

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Henry Hyde, Jesse Helms.

Transcript

Montage

Lucy Lawless’ MonologueSummary: Audience members think Lucy Lawless and “Xena: Warrior Princess” are lesbians.

Transcript

Shirt In A CanSummary: Another stained shirt. Dammit! A can of spray paint will solve your wardrobe problems.

Judge JudySummary: Judge Judy (Cheri Oteri) hears the case of a stripper clown (Lucy Lawless) before the real Judy Sheindlin interrupts the proceedings.

Recurring Characters: Judge Judy, Burt.

Transcript

The History of Presidential Scandal ISummary: Andrew Johnson slept with a bird.

Transcript

MSNBC: White House In CrisisSummary: Female MSNBC reporters treat the Clinton scandal with a slumber party mentality.

Transcript

TV FunhouseSummary:Despite their animosity toward one another, Howard Stern and “Saturday Night Live” are a ratings success when bred together in Rob Smigel’s “Fun With Real Audio” segment.

Stevie Nicks’ Fajita RoundupSummary: Stevie Nicks (Lucy Lawless) sings fajita-themed parodies of her popular songs to promote her new restaurant.

Transcript

The How Do You Say, Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Sexy Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan) chats with the author of a book on Lyme Disease (Lucy Lawless).

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas.

Transcript

The History of Presidential Scandal IISummary: Lyndon B. Johnson’s whores had a special nickname for him.

Transcript

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Colin Quinn is nearly stabbed twice by Chucky the murderous doll, who pretends to deliver serious commentaries on the Clinton scandal and the World Series.

Transcript

Elliot Smith performs “Waltz #2”

BiographySummary: Drunken Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) narrates a biography on the life of Puff Daddy (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: Jack Perkins, Puff Daddy.

Terrance MaddoxSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Terrance Maddox.

Transcript

Goth TalkSummary: .

Recurring Characters: Circe Nightshade, Azrael Abyss.

The CulpsSummary: Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at the World Series.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.

GoodnightsTranscript

SNL Transcripts

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