Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 3
Lucy Lawless’ Monologue
Male Audience Member #1…..Jimmy Fallon
Male Audience Member #2…..Horatio Sanz
Female Audience Member #1…..Tina Fey
Female Audience Member #2…..Paula Pell
Lucy Lawless: Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Thanks forthe applause. I’m not sure if that’s for me or because the Yankee’s arewinning tonight. You know, I’m from New Zealand, where we film my show”Xena: Warrior Princess”, and my character..
Male Audience Member #1: [ interrupting ] Lucy? Lucy?
Lucy Lawless: Yes?
Male Audience Member #1: Hi. Big fan of “Xena”.
Lucy Lawless: Thanks. [ smiles ]
Male Audience Member #1: Are you proud to play a lesbian?
Lucy Lawless: Well.. uh.. actually, I don’t define my character, Xena,as a lesbian. I like to think of her as a fierce warrior who travels..
Male Audience Member #2: Hi, Lucy? [ pause ] Actually, it’s weird,because you and I actually have something in common.
Lucy Lawless: What’s that?
Male Audience Member #2: We’re both into chicks! [ turns aside tohigh-five Make Audience Member #1 ]
Lucy Lawless: Okay, you’re a little confused.. Like I said, Xenaisn’t necessarily “into chicks”. Uh.. just because a charactermight be gay dosn’t mean the actor is..
Female Audience Member #1: [ interrupting ] Hey, Lucy? I think you’rereally great.
Lucy Lawless: [ smiles ] Thank you!
Female Audience Member #1: How about after the show you and me gograb a beer and shoot some pool?
Lucy Lawless: [ mildly annoyed ] I’m afraid I can’t. Thanks, though.Uh.. does anyone have a question that isn’t about Xena’s sexualpreference? Yes, Sir?
Female Audience Member #2: It’s “Ma’am”. [ pause ] When Draco had toclose the porthole to the alternative Xenaverse.. – how’d you do that?
Lucy Lawless: Well actually we used computer generated imagery tocreate the porthole door. Does that answer your question?
Female Audience Member #2: [ points her finger back and forth betweenherself and Lucy ] Are you feeling it?
Lucy Lawless: [ changes subject ] Okay, we’ve got a great showtonight. Elliot Smith is here! So, stick around, we’ll be right back!