Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 3
The History of Presidential Scandal I
Voiceover: In an attempt to put the current White House scandal in perspective, CNN and Kraft Foods present “The History of Presidential Scandals.”[fade down, then up to a photo of Franklin D. Roosevelt]
Most of us now know that Franklin Roosevelt had a long-time extramarital affair with Lucy Mercer.
And that Thomas Jefferson fathered illegitimate children by Sally Hemmings, one of his slaves.[fade down, then up to a photo of Andrew Johnson that slowly zooms in]
But few people know that in the spring of 1867, Andrew Johnson had sex with a bird. Johnson’s affair with the sparrow was no secret among the Washington elite, and is even alluded to [fade down, then up to a political cartoon with Andrew Johnson and a sparrow close to each other and the phrase “sex not the bird” above them] in political cartoons of the time. This may be how Johnson earned the nickname, “The Carolina Bird-Bagger.”[fade down, then up to “The History of Presidential Scandal” graphic] [fade to black]
Submitted by: Gregory Larson