SNL Transcripts: David Spade: 11/07/98


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 24: Episode 5

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


November 7th, 1998

David Spade

Eagle-Eye Cherry


Brad Pitt

Chris Rock
David Spade’s Therapy SessionSummary: Prior to coming back to Studio 8-H to host “Saturday Night Live,” David Spade outlines his fear of success to his therapist, Brad Pitt.



David Spade’s MonologueSummary: David Spade jokes about about the suspects on “COPS” and a drunken encounter with polar bears at the zoo.

Also Hosted: 04n.

Mercury MistressSummary: The luxury car that drivers can have sex with.


Monica’s InterviewersRecurring Characters: Monica Lewinsky, Barbara Walters, Larry Flynt, Diane Sawyer, Phil Donahue, Howard Stern, Oprah Winfrey.

Mack North ISummary: After beating his opponent Fred Peete in the 6th District race by 8%, Mack North (Will Ferrell) gloats of his victory in a post-election attack ad.


Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet LoveSummary: Lawrence Greekmont (Will Ferrell) and his guest panelists will discuss the day’s financial news after they get down to the real business – talking about making sweet love.


Mack North IISummary: In his second post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) harrasses loser Fred Peete (Chris Parnell) in a Target parking lot.


The Sensitive Drill Sergeant

Mango & KiwiRecurring Characters: Mango, Harvey.

Mack North IIISummary: In his final post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) mocks loser Fred Peete with a face mask.

Happy Birthday, GrandmaSummary: A dad (Wil Ferrell) forces his three kids to sing “Happy Birthday” over the phone to Grandma, and they’d better not screw up and make him look like an ass.

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: David Spade returns to the Update desk to deliver a Hollywood Minute, with a little help from a David Spade hand puppet.


Eagle-Eye Cherry performs “Save Tonight”

“Felicity” Shoot

Dr. LauraSummary: Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ana Gasteyer) berates her callers on Take Your Child to Work Day.


Bachelor PartySummary: Shane the Chaperone (David Spade) outlines the ground rules to a group of guys attending a bachelor party.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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