Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 5
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
November 7th, 1998
David Spade
Eagle-Eye Cherry
None
Brad Pitt
Chris Rock
David Spade’s Therapy SessionSummary: Prior to coming back to Studio 8-H to host “Saturday Night Live,” David Spade outlines his fear of success to his therapist, Brad Pitt.
Transcript
Montage
David Spade’s MonologueSummary: David Spade jokes about about the suspects on “COPS” and a drunken encounter with polar bears at the zoo.
Also Hosted: 04n.
Mercury MistressSummary: The luxury car that drivers can have sex with.
Transcript
Monica’s InterviewersRecurring Characters: Monica Lewinsky, Barbara Walters, Larry Flynt, Diane Sawyer, Phil Donahue, Howard Stern, Oprah Winfrey.
Mack North ISummary: After beating his opponent Fred Peete in the 6th District race by 8%, Mack North (Will Ferrell) gloats of his victory in a post-election attack ad.
Transcript
Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet LoveSummary: Lawrence Greekmont (Will Ferrell) and his guest panelists will discuss the day’s financial news after they get down to the real business – talking about making sweet love.
Transcript
Mack North IISummary: In his second post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) harrasses loser Fred Peete (Chris Parnell) in a Target parking lot.
Transcript
The Sensitive Drill Sergeant
Mango & KiwiRecurring Characters: Mango, Harvey.
Mack North IIISummary: In his final post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) mocks loser Fred Peete with a face mask.
Happy Birthday, GrandmaSummary: A dad (Wil Ferrell) forces his three kids to sing “Happy Birthday” over the phone to Grandma, and they’d better not screw up and make him look like an ass.
Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: David Spade returns to the Update desk to deliver a Hollywood Minute, with a little help from a David Spade hand puppet.
Transcript
Eagle-Eye Cherry performs “Save Tonight”
“Felicity” Shoot
Dr. LauraSummary: Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ana Gasteyer) berates her callers on Take Your Child to Work Day.
Transcript
Bachelor PartySummary: Shane the Chaperone (David Spade) outlines the ground rules to a group of guys attending a bachelor party.
Transcript
Goodnights
