Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 6
The Jenson Mint
Announcer: You make a lot of money. And the last thing you wantto do is give your change away to some street person. It’s an awkwardsituation. That’s why the Jenson Mint offers a new line of fake change togive to the homeless. Each coin is carefully crafted to look and feel likea real quarter – at first glance. But, upon closer inspection, the hobodiscovers a disappointing message:[ the coin reads “Not Today Friend” ]
Announcer: Each fake Jenson quarter costs just thirty-five cents – asmall price to pay for peace of mind. And, if the bum tries to cash in aJenson coin, he’ll find they’re not only worthless, but they’re stolen.That means he’ll never bother you for change again. And that’s the Americanway. The Jenson way.