Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 9
December 12th, 1998
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) admits that he’s sorry for the impeachment trial.
Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton.
Alec Baldwin’s MonologueSummary: After giving a lackluster performance, Alec Baldwin is visited by the Ghost of SNL Past (John Goodman), who offers a glimpse of Jimmy Fallon hosting the show in 2011 and still making fun of him.
Also Hosted: 89r, 90n, 92m, 93m, 94h, 95k, 96n, 00p, 01r, 03f, 05h, 06e.
NBA On NBC
Morning LatteSummary: Tom Wilkins (Will Ferrell) and Cass van Rye (Cheri Oteri) make fun of their new pot-smoking producer (Alec Baldwin).
Recurring Characters: Tom Wilkins, Cass van Rye.
CassidySummary: Six-year-old sick child, Cassidy (Alec Baldwin), looks too much like a man for a lovestruck clown (Molly Shannon) to resist.
TV FunhouseSummary: A look back at the Harlem Globetrotters’ first Christmas.
Luciano Pavarotti & Vanessa Williams perform “Adeste Fideles”
Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Kwanzaa Timmy (Tim Meadows) sings an erotic holiday song.
The Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) talk to baker Pete Schweddy (Alec Baldwin) talks about his Christmas balls.
Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Teri Rialto.
Impeachment HearingsSummary: Although President Bill Clinton’s (Darrell Hammond) opponents hate him, they still think he’s in the right.
Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, O.J. Simpson, Alan Dershowitz, Henry Hyde, Tom Brokaw, Barney Frank.
Bill Brasky on Wall StreetSummary: After a rough day on Wall Street, Bill Brasky’s buddies (Will Ferrell, Alec Baldwin, John Goodman) tell more outlandish tales of the brutal giant.
Recurring Characters: Hank, Ted, Buddy.