SNL Transcripts: James Van Der Beek: 01/16/99


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 24: Episode 11

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


January 16th, 1999

James Van Der Beek



Larry Flynt at the White HouseSummary: President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and Larry Flynt (Horatio Sanz) are honored to meet each other at the White House.

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Larry Flynt, Hillary Clinton.


MontageNote: With Don Pardo out sick, Darrell Hammond steps into the announcer’s booth to assume the role of the legendary announcer. Hammond resurfaces as Pardo during the monologue and the announcements for next week’s show.

James Van Der Beek’s MonologueSummary: The disembodied voice of Don Pardo (Darrell Hammond) makes aural passes at James van der Beek.

Teeny Weenies!Summary: Thanks to the wonders of modern science, a trio of would-be mothers (Cheri Oteri, Molly Shannon, Ana Gasteyer) can have all the premature babies they want – some of them even in working condition!


National Spelling Bee ChampionshipSummary: Spelling bee emcee (Will Ferrell) fumbles through the championships after losing the cards with the words on them.


Cats Home Video

Teen PulseSummary: Teenaged girls interview the latest boy band pop sensation – 7 Degrees Celsius.

Recurring Characters: Wade, Samm, Jeph, Sweet T, Peter Tanner.

Dog ShowRecurring Characters: Miss Colleen, David Larry.

Note: James Van Der Beek accidentally called his dog “Captain Gingershitsnap” on the live broadcast.

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnRecurring Characters: Brian Fellow.


Everlast performs “What It’s Like”

Laser PointersSummary: A pair of jokers (Tracy Morgan, James Van Der Beek) ruin a Harry Connick, Jr. (immy Fallon) concert by shining obscene lasers on the crooner during his performance.

Recurring Characters: Harry Connick, Jr.


The War Abroad and At Home


Maria & The TV RepairmanSummary: Mr. Caminetti (Horatio Sanaz) tries in vain to set up his unkepmt daughter Maria (Cheri Oteri) with Anthony the TV repairman (James Van Der Beek).

Recurring Characters: Maria.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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