SNL Transcripts: Brendan Fraser: 02/13/99: Bio Flex

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 13





98m: Brendan Fraser / Busta Rhymes & The Roots

Bio Flex

Consumer…..Will Ferrell

Announcer: The human body. Only one home fitness system unlocks your body’s maximum potential.

[ cut to the product, a massive trunk labelled “Bio Flex” ]

Announcer: Bio Flex. Designed to build muscle mass through actual resistance from a genetically re-engineered humanoid.

[ Consumer enters living in his workout clothes, and unlocks the Bio Flex trunk to reveal an angered humanoid creature on the rampage ]

Announcer: Bio Flex may be the world’s first perfect total workout system.

[ show outline of the box with the Bio-flex creature inside ]

Announcer: Hand-to-hand combat with with the Bio Flex proto-sapien creature provides intense isometric and aerobic exercise.

[ the Bio Flex creature pounces on the Consumer, breaking a coffee table in the process. A guitar and other objects are also smashed and destroyed during the struggle. ]

Announcer: Once the monster is released, all you have to do is fight it. [ the Consumer crouches low against the wall, as the Bio Flex creature’s arm bursts through ] It’s that simple.

Announcer: Unlike most workouts, Bio flex impacts every major muscle.

[ the Bio Flex creature smashes the Consumer’s head against a mirror, bloodying his head ]

Announcer: Being pounced on by the angry, hungry creature tones and firms your thighs and gloots.

[ the Bio Flex creature jumps on the Consumer’s back. The image freezes, as an outline appears over the Consumer’s thigh and gloot regions ]

Announcer: Wrestling with the violent ape-beast works your shoulders, pecs, and abdominals.

[ the Bio Flex creature then tugs the Consumer’s arms upward. The image freezes, as an outline appears over the Consumer’s shoulder, pec, and abdominal regions ]

Announcer: Finally, being pummelled and beaten by the vicious man-monster is also part of the workout.

[ the Bio Flex creature flings the Consumer to the floor and smashes bottles over his head ]

Announcer: Total. Natural. Bio Flex. When your workout is finished, Bio Flex stores conveniently out of the way —

[ the staggering and bloody Consumer happily snaps the Bio Flex trunk shut. Unfortunately, the Bio Flex creature is still on the loose, and promptly pounces on the Consumer once more ]

Announcer: Plus, a Bio Flex workout takes twenty minutes.

[ on-screen text: “Actual workout time: 00:20 mins. to 9:00 hrs.” ]

Announcer: Bio Flex. The natural workout machine, for the naturally fit body.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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