SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 03/20/99


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 24: Episode 16

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


March 20th, 1999

Drew Barrymore



Edward Norton
Academy Awards Pre-ShowSummary: Joan Rivers (Ana Gasteyer) morphs into a demon while bothering celebrities during the Academy Awards Pre-Show.

Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, John Travolta, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Melissa Rivers.


Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: Drew Barrymore sings about her wild Hollywood lifestyle over the years.

Also Hosted: 82g, 01c, 03l.


Jeopardy!Summary: Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) competes against Calista Flockhart (Drew Barrymore) and Nicolas Cage (Jimmy Fallon).

Recurring Characters: Alex Trebek, Sean Connery, Calista Flockhart.


Banana RepublicSummary: Sweater folders (Drew Barrymore, Chris Kattan) at the Banana Republic panic when a customer (Horatio Sanz) won’t tell them how he’s doing.

VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: Toni Tennille (Drew Barrymore) and Daryl “The Captain” Dragon (Edward Norton) meekly brag of their musical success.

Recurring Characters: Toni Tennille.


The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Melanie Griffith (Drew Barrymore) tries to get sexy with her self-interested husband, Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan).

Note: For the live show, Chris Kattan pasted fake pubic hair to his legs without Lorne Michaels’ knowledge.

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas, Señor Guadalupe Ramirez.


Fun With Real Audio

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) wants Hillary to run for Senate so he can score a little alone time. Chris Kattan interprets Cher’s new song, “Believe.”

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton.


Garbage performs “Special”Transcript

Dog ShowRecurring Characters: Miss Colleen, David Larry.

VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: A Rick Allen imposter (Chris Parnell) pretends to have only one arm.

Terrence Maddox & LucyRecurring Characters: Terrence Maddox.

Garbage performs “When I Grow Up”

VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: Fred Schneider (Will Ferrell) admits he makes up song titles by matching odd words together.

Recurring Characters: Fred Schneider.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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