Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 16
]]>
Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
March 20th, 1999
Drew Barrymore
Garbage
None
Edward Norton
Academy Awards Pre-ShowSummary: Joan Rivers (Ana Gasteyer) morphs into a demon while bothering celebrities during the Academy Awards Pre-Show.
Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, John Travolta, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Melissa Rivers.
Montage
Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: Drew Barrymore sings about her wild Hollywood lifestyle over the years.
Also Hosted: 82g, 01c, 03l.
Transcript
Jeopardy!Summary: Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) competes against Calista Flockhart (Drew Barrymore) and Nicolas Cage (Jimmy Fallon).
Recurring Characters: Alex Trebek, Sean Connery, Calista Flockhart.
Transcript
Banana RepublicSummary: Sweater folders (Drew Barrymore, Chris Kattan) at the Banana Republic panic when a customer (Horatio Sanz) won’t tell them how he’s doing.
VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: Toni Tennille (Drew Barrymore) and Daryl “The Captain” Dragon (Edward Norton) meekly brag of their musical success.
Recurring Characters: Toni Tennille.
Transcript
The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Melanie Griffith (Drew Barrymore) tries to get sexy with her self-interested husband, Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan).
Note: For the live show, Chris Kattan pasted fake pubic hair to his legs without Lorne Michaels’ knowledge.
Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas, Señor Guadalupe Ramirez.
Transcript
Fun With Real Audio
Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) wants Hillary to run for Senate so he can score a little alone time. Chris Kattan interprets Cher’s new song, “Believe.”
Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton.
Transcript
Garbage performs “Special”Transcript
Dog ShowRecurring Characters: Miss Colleen, David Larry.
VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: A Rick Allen imposter (Chris Parnell) pretends to have only one arm.
Terrence Maddox & LucyRecurring Characters: Terrence Maddox.
Garbage performs “When I Grow Up”
VH1: Behind the MusicSummary: Fred Schneider (Will Ferrell) admits he makes up song titles by matching odd words together.
Recurring Characters: Fred Schneider.
GoodnightsTranscript
