SNL Transcripts: John Goodman: 04/10/99: John Goodman’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 24: Episode 17

98q: John Goodman / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

John Goodman’s Monologue

…..John Goodman
Female Audience Member #1…..Paula Pell
Female Audience Member #2…..Tina Fey
…..Jimmy Fallon
…..Lorne Michaels

John Goodman: Thanks very much, thanks a lot! It is great to be back here in New York City hosing “Saturday Night Live”! I’m really excited to be back here, I have had a great year..

Female Audience Member #1: Excuse me? Mr. Goodman? Can I ask a question?

John Goodman: Sure.

Female Audience Member #1: Is this is a rerun?

John Goodman: Pardon?

Female Audience Member #1: I think I’ve seen this show before. This is a repeat, right.

John Goodman: Look, you might be confused because I’ve hosted the show ten times, but I promise you it’s a new show.

Female Audience Member #1: Who’s the musical guest?

John Goodman: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.

Female Audience Member #1: I knew it! I’ve seen that one before. Come on, we’re out of here..

John Goodman: Listen! The fact that you’re stopping the monologue to ask this question proves that it’s a new show!

Female Audience Member #1: But I asked this question back in 1991. You and Tom Petty, I’ve seen it.

John Goodman: Wait, wait, wait.. Although we are both.. established performers, this is a not a rerun. You’re mistaken.

Female Audience Member #2: I don’t think she is. I’ve seen this one, too. It’s a good one. You were funny, and Tom Petty played “Freefallin'”, I really liked it.

John Goodman: I promise you this is a new episode. Wait a minute.. [ grabs a newspaper ]’s a newspaper, look.. April 10th, 1999.. April 10th, 1999..

Female Audience Member #1: That’s just one of those fake papers you get in Times Square. I’ve got one, too. Look. [ holds up paper reading “This is a Rerun From 1991” ]

John Goodman: This is not a rerun! [ looks offstage ] Jimmy! Here’s Jimmy Fallon, he’s a new castmember. Jimmy, tell the folks about tonight’s show.

Jimmy Fallon: Oh, it’s a great show. John Goodman and Tom Petty. Yeah, I remember I was in the 8th grade when it first ran. I said, “One day, I’m gonna be on that show!”

John Goodman: Jimmy, it’s a new show.

Jimmy Fallon: [ laughs ] Good one! I think my favorite part was when Lorne came out and told you to wrap up the monologue and get on with the show!

Lorne Michaels: John, will you wrap up the monologue and get to the show?

Jimmy Fallon: See?

John Goodman: I don’t care what anyone says, this is a new show. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers are here. So stick around, because this is not a rerun from 1991!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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