Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 17
John Goodman’s Monologue
Female Audience Member #1…..Paula Pell
Female Audience Member #2…..Tina Fey
John Goodman: Thanks very much, thanks a lot! It is great to be back here in New York City hosing “Saturday Night Live”! I’m really excited to be back here, I have had a great year..
Female Audience Member #1: Excuse me? Mr. Goodman? Can I ask a question?
John Goodman: Sure.
Female Audience Member #1: Is this is a rerun?
John Goodman: Pardon?
Female Audience Member #1: I think I’ve seen this show before. This is a repeat, right.
John Goodman: Look, you might be confused because I’ve hosted the show ten times, but I promise you it’s a new show.
Female Audience Member #1: Who’s the musical guest?
John Goodman: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
Female Audience Member #1: I knew it! I’ve seen that one before. Come on, we’re out of here..
John Goodman: Listen! The fact that you’re stopping the monologue to ask this question proves that it’s a new show!
Female Audience Member #1: But I asked this question back in 1991. You and Tom Petty, I’ve seen it.
John Goodman: Wait, wait, wait.. Although we are both.. established performers, this is a not a rerun. You’re mistaken.
Female Audience Member #2: I don’t think she is. I’ve seen this one, too. It’s a good one. You were funny, and Tom Petty played “Freefallin'”, I really liked it.
John Goodman: I promise you this is a new episode. Wait a minute.. [ grabs a newspaper ] ..here’s a newspaper, look.. April 10th, 1999.. April 10th, 1999..
Female Audience Member #1: That’s just one of those fake papers you get in Times Square. I’ve got one, too. Look. [ holds up paper reading “This is a Rerun From 1991” ]
John Goodman: This is not a rerun! [ looks offstage ] Jimmy! Here’s Jimmy Fallon, he’s a new castmember. Jimmy, tell the folks about tonight’s show.
Jimmy Fallon: Oh, it’s a great show. John Goodman and Tom Petty. Yeah, I remember I was in the 8th grade when it first ran. I said, “One day, I’m gonna be on that show!”
John Goodman: Jimmy, it’s a new show.
Jimmy Fallon: [ laughs ] Good one! I think my favorite part was when Lorne came out and told you to wrap up the monologue and get on with the show!
Lorne Michaels: John, will you wrap up the monologue and get to the show?
Jimmy Fallon: See?
John Goodman: I don’t care what anyone says, this is a new show. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers are here. So stick around, because this is not a rerun from 1991!