SNL Transcripts: Cuba Gooding Jr.: 05/08/99: Looking for Monica I



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 18


98r: Cuba Gooding Jr. / Ricky Martin

Looking for Monica I

…..Molly Shannon
…..Tim Meadows
Barbara Walters……Cheri Oteri

[ applause ]

Molly Shannon: Oh my god, Ricky Martin is so cute.

Tim Meadows: I know… God, it’s crazy.

Molly Shannon: Yeah.

Tim Meadows: Oh, he’s so cute.

Barbara Walters: Pardon me. I’m… Barbara Walters. World-renowned celebrity journalist, veteran anchor, and co-host of the hard-hitting news magazine, 20/20. Can you tell me where I might find tonight’s host, Miss Monica Lewinsky?

Molly Shannon: Well, she’s not the host, actually.

Barbara Walters: You see, I have to return a pack of gum to her. She left it in her dressing room right after our highly-rated, exclusive interview, on ABC.

Tim Meadows: Well, um, I could give it to her if you want.

Barbara Walters: I prefer to see her in person.

Molly Shannon: Well… it’s just a pack of gum. I mean, she probably doesn’t even care.

Barbara Walters: For the love of Pete, quit grilling me, you hussy. [ gasp ] Aah.

Tim Meadows: Why da-, why do you wanna see her so bad?

Barbara Walters: If you must know, Tim, I have more questions to ask about the phone sex. You see, I’m in a long-distance relationship with Rupert Murdoch, and I’m ready to take it to the next level. So, I need her advice.

Molly Shannon: Hm, you know what? Maybe try the ninth floor dressing rooms.

Barbara Walters: Ninth floor dressing rooms.

Molly Shannon: Mm-hm.

Barbara Walters: Where are they?

Tim Meadows: Ninth floor.

Barbara Walters: Aah. [ walking away ]: Monica… Monica…

Submitted by: Ellis Mitchell

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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