Dr. Evil


Dr. Evil

…..Mike Myers
…..Lorne Michaels
…..Tim Meadows
…..Kevin Spacey

[ Mike Myers sits with Lorne Michaels in a back office ]

Mike Myers: Well, he’s not really based on you, Lorne. You know? He’s sort of an amalgam of a lot of different people.. who I, um.. who I respect and admire.

Lorne Michaels: Right. But did you have to name him Dr. Evil?

Mike Myers: [ laughs ] Well, that just happens to be his last name, you know? I mean.. Marvin Gaye is not gay, right?

Lorne Michaels: Yeah.

Mike Myers: And, you know, Dr. Evil’s a really likeable character, Lorne. I mean, he likes animals, he loves his son..

Lorne Michaels: Ri-ight.

Mike Myers: And he loves power.. and money.. That’s good, right?

Lorne Michaels: Ri-ight.

Mike Myers: Anyways, you know what? You know, Dr. Evil’s nothing like you, Lorne. I mean, you don’t have your “henchmen” kill people.

Lorne Michaels: No.. no, not since the 70’s.

[ Tim Meadows enters ]

Tim Meadows: Hey, Mike!

Lorne Michaels: Hey, Tim.

Tim Meadows: Hey, Dr. Evil!

Mike Myers: Hey, he’s not Dr. Evil, Tim! Okay? He’s not! Alright, buddy? Thank you! [ stands ] I mean, you’re not! You know? You’re not Dr. Evil! Okay? He’s so not Dr. Evil, it’s crazy how not Dr. Evil he is!

[ Mike exits ]

Lorne Michaels: Tim, should I be worried about this Dr. Evil thing?

Tim Meadows: [ sits ] No, Lorne. I don’t think a lot of people saw that movie.

[ Kevin Spacey enters ]

Kevin Spacey: Hey, Tim.

Tim Meadows: Hey.

Kevin Spacey: Hey, Lorne, you were great in “Austin Powers”, just so hilarious! Evil. Really funny.

Lorne Michaels: Thank you.

Kevin Spacey: And you were great, too, Mini Lorne Michaels.

[ camera zooms out to reveal a miniarure Lorne Michaels standing on a chair ]

Mini Lorne: Thanks, Kevin!

Lorne Michaels: How are you, Mini Lorne? Are you hungry? Would you like a Hot Pocket? Could I get a friggin’ Hot Pocket around here?!

[ Tim rushes out for a Hot Pocket, as Lorne and Mini Lorne bite their pinky finger ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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