Adam Sandler: Hello. I like that. That was excellent. I’m Adam Sandler, and, uh.. thank you. “Saturday Night Live”. Wow. What a great show. This is unbelievable. All these great people here. You know, a few years ago I used to be on this show, and that was a great time. And, uh.. a lot of people used to be on the show. And I’m sure they had a great time, too. [ pause ] Some people are still on this show.. and I bet they’re having a blast, also. Sketches.. and talking about funny things. A lot of good times. Uhh.. after the shows, uh.. sometimes, I would go with the other people who were on the show to the.. to the after the show parties.. and that was a good time, too.. yeah.. funny things and parties. And all the people.. all the people who have been on the show, that was.. so many people. So many funny things happened. [ awkward pause ] I’m sorry.. I’m not good at talking. Uh.. usually, when I was on the show, I didn’t write what I said. Other guys would write it for me, and that was.. that was probably better than what I’m doing now. So, why don’t I ask three great writers, who wrote a lot of stuff for me, to come bail me out. Uh.. Mr. Jim Downey, Mr. Rob Smigel, Mr. Tim Herlihy.
Alright. Fellas, can you help me out, fellas? Can you give me a little something.[ Jim Downey whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: “Saturday Night Live”, ain’t no jive![ Rob Smigel whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: [ laughs ] Other shows think they’re great, but they’re not!
Adam Sandler: Okay.. “SNL” rules. And so does Ricky Martin.[ Jim Downey whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: I’m making, like, $200 million for my next movie, and I’m not giving any to these guys.[ Rob Smigel whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: 25 years.[ Rob Smigel whispers the rest of the line into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: Holy moly![ Tim Herlihy whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: Alright.. I should use my show biz power to get my friends backstage passes to a Ricky Martin concert.[ Jim Downey whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: [ chuckles ] Alright.. Hebby-hebby-hoo! Hebba-hebba-hoo! Hebby-hebba-hoo![ Rob Smigel whispers the corrected line into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: [ laughs ] Habababa! Spuuu![ Tim Herlihy whispers into Adam’s ear, making a sad face ]
Adam Sandler: Ricky Martin shouldn’t be so hasty with his fancy temporary restraining orders. Maybe if he took a minute to get to know somebody, he wouldn’t be so frightened.[ Jim Downey whispers into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: Now, here are some music from our favorite decade, the 80’s.[ Rob Smigel pbbts into Adam’s ear ]
Adam Sandler: Pbbt!