Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 25: Episode 1
99a: Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie
Javis Home Security Systems
Man…..Will Ferrell
Mother…..Ana Gasteyer
[ scene opens in a baby’s bedroom, as a man changes a baby’s diaper ]
Man: When it came time to change my first diaper, I was pretty nervous. What kind of wipes should I use? Should I powder his little bottom? What if there’s redness? Well, there’s one thing I wasn’t nervous about.. and that was my choice of diapers. Dry Baby Disposals are the best. Even I know that. [ looking down at the baby ] Right, little guy?
[ the baby’s mother suddenly walks in ]
Mother: Who the hell are you?!
[ the stranger jumps out the window, as mother rushes to the baby’s crib ]
Announcer: Javis Home Security Systems. Because there are a lot of dirty creatures.
Submitted by: Robert Wilczak
